Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Once upon a time..there was a Lover.

Have you ever heard people say, "If you love someone, let him go. If he is yours, he will come back. If not, his love is nevers yours to be with!" - And it's even hard to grasp when the person you love ends with someone else who seems to be the third party in your relationship. You would start asking yourself, "What cud hav gone wrong?", "Am i not doing good enough?" or "Is the girl better than me?" or the harsh way would be, "You are an ass hole,glad that you met a similar partner."

I remember the moment when i first time felt the world was rocking to its end as if all the images of a perfect relationship and a happy family collapsed and burned into thin air. I still remember when my friend in college told me that you were seeing another girl but I put my trust in you that we are in a long-distance relationship and it is okay for you to hang out with friends or girlfriends. I remember in college when one or two guys approached me for a date, but i smiled nicely and told them that i am in a relationship with my boyfriend - that he will feel jealous if he knew. Indeed, i know you were the jealous type, and i understand that i would hav to take care of your feelings, that i really appreciate you in my life and i want our relationship to last long.

I remember it very much when i accepted your apology when i was mad at you for finding out that you've been dating a girl behind my back for the reason that it was a small misunderstanding that SHE is ACTUALLY your BESTFRIEND and she helps you a lot especially in study. As far as i am concernd, she was also the one who were looking after you at the hospital when you were injured while playing soccer. I was sorry that i couldnt be there near you all the time - but i never stopped making phonecalls everyday just to know that you were okay.

I remember when i ended up writing poems, wrapping chocolates and heart-shaped sweets and designing small beautiful cards for your birthday or special events to express my feelings for you. I never knew that you'd understand or appreciate the real meaning behind the words of Shakespeare or Emily Bronte, but i knw that you love them since you say they were cute and you kept all the gifts in one box. Now, I wish i could take back all the gifts, tie them up and throw them all into the dark ocean. If you know how to break ppl's heart, you might as well do it to my belongings.

I now never felt regret to leave you from my world. It was me who asked for a breakup. After wasting 5years with a guy like you, i know that i have to move on to a new life. I am now happy with lovely sweethearts and friends - leaving you all the sweet and bitter memories of yours. Sadly, i dont know why you are spreading the news to others that we broke up because i was dating someone else. It hurts my feeling since i know that i have always been honest to you and never go out with any guy behind your back. We were so young back, then. We were 18 when we started knowing each other. Maybe we were so immature to handle a wise decision or maybe we hav put so much endless effort that it hurt us even more.

Well, i told myself that it is okay. Maybe you need time to be apart from me. It was not that you never can live without me since the girl is by yourside always. My question to you is, "If you really2 love me, why were you never be true to me in our relationship?Why did it hurt you so much when i asked for a breakup? And worst of all, why do u make up bad stories about me to ur friends when i myself left you to make you happy with your so-called bestfriend?"

Now, you sent me a wedding invitation card.
What do you expect me to do?
Praying for your happiness?
Or eating nasi minyak beside you on the same bride and groom's table?
Ohhh..i've been praying for your happiness for so..many times until i forgot to pray for my own.
And I am not mad at your wife-to-be. Maybe in our love triangle, i was just a minor character...coz she takes the leading role and it was her destiny to marry the prince charming. And well, you are no more a prince charming to me. You are just a small dot that causes my A4 white-paper-LIFE a mess.

Thank you for the lessons i got for free.
May you gain your happiness with the new phase.

11 comments:

farahayuni said...

hey lady.


this is nice!
straight from your heart.

Ms Syakira said...

Hey, just updated. Suprised to get a comment. You are so..fast.hehe.

Thanks,pal.

Old dwarf said...

hi snow white!!

u updated it soo fast..look like its a big case here..can feel the heat too..first of all..i hope u can cool down by now..about y he making bad stories..i think its a true nature for human to think like dat...semua org akn bt apa2 utk tutup kkurngn atau kesilapan sendri smpai terpaksa tikam blakang org..but u know,evrybody have their own dirty secret dat wish nobody would find out..myb he dun want ppl know bout him

myb u are right..dat time both u were soo young..i can understnd it very much..i've been through it 5yrs too..eventhough we broke up..i stil appreciate her for spending such a long time with me..there are much that i learn from her..

so,did he sent u his wedding card??dats a surprise!!..wut u gona do??tapaw nasi minyak??lol..just kidding..u know wut the best for u..

i like the part when u said u wrote poems, wrapping chocolates and heart-shaped sweets and designing small beautiful cards..really nice..i wish dat my past was like dat..

anyway..dun blame yourself..u not a small character..5yrs..dats like a heroin character given to u...its just dat the ending not as expected...be sure to alwez smile like your old dwarf!!hehe

Ms Syakira said...

Yea, that's what a girl got when doing anything for a man. A man especially Malay man should learn from the MatSalleh to be more romantic by writing poems n sending a girl roses and chocolates. Huhu.

But i'm really glad that i dumped him away! That's the climax of the story. But happiness falls for the wrong person. A happy ever after Cinderella story which wont happen to Snow White righht nw.LOL.

Anonymous said...

Don't worry lelaki yang baik untuk perempuan yang baik...Insyallah akan ada yang terbaik..



Orang bilik sebelah..hehehe

Sugar Lips said...

Men in general love to be the center of attention. In other words, everything you do, feel, think n etc should be related to him. If U R OUT OF SIGHT, U Wud B OUT OF MIND. Basically, having a distance relationship is kinda risky. 50/50. If he is the loyal type, he would stay. If else, we wud suffer from being cheated most of the time. In ur case, that TUT man is a greedy one. He kept you by him side while he dated another girl becoz he wanted to have options. So you had become his JUST IN CASE subject. Just in case his second relationship went wrong, he had u. Well never u mind. He had lost the most precious jewel. As a Jewel, u deserve someone who is way better than a PLASTIC man. Don't stop praying....hang on for a lil while. Believe in miracle....ur Mr. Right will be knocking at ur door soon. Insyallah.

Ms Syakira said...

Thanks orang bilik sebelah and Sugar Lips!

:)

Old dwarf said...

sound like the 3rd person would be like cinderella..lol..no wonder u wont get him cuz the cinderella's prince is not for snow white's tale..the prince in snow white's tale hasnt come yet..weird that how did cinderella's prince has to be in snow white's tale..lol

Ms Syakira said...

What the heck u talking abt, old dwarf.
Cinderella wont snatch ppl's boyfriend. Instead, she is the one who shld be rewarded with a prince.

nazrin said...

wow,this is quite a lot to digest isnt it,and it looks like ur more remembering than forgetting too. anyways,sorry for your loss,truly.

Ms Syakira said...

Well, Nazrin..u wont forget if u dont remember..isnt it?