Apabila Muzik Berbicara!

Secret Missions Revealed

2012-01-31T04:13:00.000-08:00

Missions/Plans 2012-2013

We used to say that if you fail to plan, you plan to fail. WEll, if it is the case, why not you sit for a while and give a thought of what you plan for the future. Of course, we plan the action but Allah gives us the result. Here are my own lists:

Career Development

Publishing journal/academic research,publishing books for children, upgrading teaching skills & classroom activities and writing novels (Buy my book!)

Personal Development

Grooming myself at gym and aerobic classes, eating healthy food ONLY (you are what you eat, nwy), performing more Doa' and additional prayer, reciting the Holy Quran, revising my 3rd language - Arabic (I really miss my Ustaz back in university!), practicing my long-lost cooking skills, shopping new fashionable clothes, reading Parenting books, reading on how to Be a Good Wife and attending my very own wedding.
At the end of 2013- I should have visited this entry again and announce to the world -

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.

Hello Vietnam!

2012-01-27T06:05:00.001-08:00

Ho Chin Minh, Vietnam

I am planning to visit Ho Chin Minh city this coming April-May semester break. My longtime Vietnamese friend promised me a special tour :)
*blowing a kiss.
To all bloggers, don't miss me while i'm away.LOL.
A new adventure is coming! :)

Do you think you can Fool me?

2012-01-22T16:22:00.001-08:00

Last Thursday, my sister came back from Matriks Changlun, Kedah for a sleepover at my house since we plan to go back to KK together for the Chinese New Year break. But i just noticed she started jalan terhenjut-henjut due to the hips pain she got while waiting for the bus at her KMK college. As our plans to visit Spa & Beauty Centre, has been postphoned a million of times, we then decided to go massage on Friday afternoon after lunch. While surveying for a nice place to complete our mission, an advertisement on massage caught my attention:

Massage: RM19 Only!!

My sister and i then, walked slowly to the beauty centre and studied the advertisement. It was cheap, RM19 for 1hour and it was full body massage. Where else can we get that kind of promotion? It was like rezeki datang bergolek. Plus, my sister had always complained that everytime she wanted to go for one, i used to say it was too expensive or sometimes, when we agreed upon one place, the female workers are gone to kampung or only male staff was available. LOL.
We then nodded in agreement that this place must be the right one.

I pushed the glass door and was approached by a middle-aged chinese woman. She asked us to sit and went off to the other side of the counter, and brought us two cups of pandan tea.I also saw a man came out from one of the rooms inside, wearing his shoes and was now paying the cashier some cash. The cashier also just come out from the same room. She is a beautiful chinese young lady who wears heavy makeup (but still look pretty), with colored short hair. I wonder if she is the one who massage the man.

While waiting, i could smell the aromatherapy aroma of lavender, pandan and ginseng leaves. There are some chinese red angpau envelopes and red fake fire crackers decorated on some orange trees. They were all hanging like tanglung. Suddenly, the place gives me a creepy uneasy feeling. The middle-aged woman asked me,

"You orang nak buat apa? Kitorang ada satu package promotion... RM158 per person. Dapat 1 free massage bila datang utk second time. Ini murah punya promotion. Lu boleh dapat fullbody massage+ facial + tungku for 2hours. Selalu harga massage shj RM79 per hour. Now, u boleh dapat 3... utk rm158. U dtg hari ni, dapat percuma 1 massage."

For a moment, there was a long silence. I was thinking of the purpose of the RM19 advertisement. I asked her, "RM158 pun mahal juga. Adik saya tak ada duit. Lagipun, yg advertisment kat luar RM19 massage tu apa?"

The woman looked at us directly in the eyes, "RM158 sudah murah la adik. RM19 massage tu u boleh datang sebanyak 10kali. Every massage harga RM19 utk satu kali. Tapi u cuba la package RM158 ni. Untung punya maaa...mana mau dpt tmpat lain"

Well, if like that, it means RM19 is just a trick to attract customers.
"Kalau saya ambik RM158, saya share dgn adik saya boleh tak? Saya tak mau dtg byk kali. Sy datang sekali, adik saya replace utk free massage yg sy dpt, boleh?"

The woman raised her eyebrow, "Mana boleh. U bayar rm 158, dia bayar rm158.. nanti dua2 dapat free massage for second time. "

I suddenly felt what she told was irrelevant. We came for the RM19 were inforced to take the package RM158 which we didnt want.

"Oh, kalau mcm tu saya tak mau la kak. Kitorang takda duit." I told her firmly.

The woman pointed out, "Mana boleh tak da duit. RM158 ni murah. U boleh dapat 3 in 1 package. Ok, if u tak mau, ok..BOLEH, BOLEH. i bagi u kongsi. BOLEH, BOLEH." Suddenly, she changed her mind and seemed so excited about it. She was now flipping over her receipt list.

I suddenly felt pissed out. How dare she hav the guts to decide on our behalf to proceed with the massage treatment. Trying to not be rude, i looked at my sister. "Dah, jom balik."
My sister was stunned for a moment. She wanted to get up from her chair, but the middle-aged woman suddenly raised up her voice looking at me, "Apa pasai u ajak dia balik??Lu dgr dulu apa i mau cakap..Dgr, dengar. Sini, explain pada diorang." She suddenly reassured the young cashier who has just said goodbye to the man to re-explain the package. I was about to tell the woman, that if i leave the place, is she going to send my sister back Home?

"Adik, u akan rugi if tak mau try package ni, " the young cashier began. I was losing interest and I told her, "Kitorang xda duit. Dia lagi takda duit." I said and eyeing my sister who seemed 2be so quiet during the conversation. I just knw that if we agree for the package, RM158 +RM158 = RM316 would solely come from my pocket. My sister is still a matriculation student, even her allowance seems not enough to buy books, food etc and she still need belas ihsan from me and our parents. I have the money actually, but i don't wanna lose it for services that i dont guarantee is good or not. Actually, i knw an even better spa place than this one, if we really2 need to go for the expensive service.

"Aiyo...u boleh kongsi la if u nak. If u xbawa duit gaji skarang, kita boleh terima credit card or kad ATM. Kita boleh check duit u cukup atau tak cukup la adikk.. Jgn mcm ni. Kita bukan paksa punya. tapi kita buat ini promotion mmg untung. Ramai lagi orang mau dtg jap lagi." She eyed my sister's face. " Tgk muka u...banyak jerawat. U punya muka kena facial la adik."

I was losing my patience but still keeping my voice very decent. And how dare this girl wanted to check the money available in my bank account.
"U kata tak mau paksa." I said angrily. "Kitorang dah kata xmau, xmau la. Mmg xda duit! If mmg xdapat byr, u nk tolong bayar?Dia lagi takda duit."

I was nw standing. I looked at my sister. She is now standing herself in horror. We didnt even touch the pandan tea the woman had served. "U boleh bagi phone number pada kita.if ada promotion kita bgtau". The young cashier suddenly opened a notepad, i reluctantly wrote the number on the notepad she gave just to end the conversation. She suddenly continued talking, "U boleh beli voucher dlu bila mau. Customer2 lain beli itu voucher utk promotion. Voucher murah M10 dan RM20 sahaja.. Boleh ya, adik."

I snapped angrily, "Takda2. Saya tak mau.Voucher harga RM10 ke, RM20 ke.. saya tak peduli. saya xmau!"

Both woman seems disappointed. The young cashier shook her head slowly, " Aiyo.... RM10 aje xmau..."

Well, to hell the women. I just noticed these ppl are trying to make us come back sooner or later. I dont think the way they treat the customers are quite right. I dont mind them being tricky about the price, but the way they raised up their voice when i refused to undergo the massage treatment really pissed me off. If they hadnt let us go, i would hav taught them some lesson they never regret. Just because they are offering a service and served us tea, it doesnt mean we shld succumb ourselves to their traps. And they forgot that I'm a linguistic person - i can detect the persuasive language ppl use to persuade customers; and they just fallen onto a wrong person.

While driving, we surveyed another massage centre runned by an OKU (blind) group which was only RM35 per person. We finally went there and quite satisfied with the service. And I swear to God, that i would never ever land my feet at the same RM19 massage place again!

No extravagant shopping plz!

2012-01-17T06:24:00.000-08:00

Well, just come back from shopping at Body Shop. Guess i'd spent a lot time visiting this face & body boutique just to 'invest' some money on unnecessary things (well, what is money for if you dont waste it? LOL). And i think everytime i visited the place, i made friends with the salesgirls who used to call me 'adik'; i guess they never really know my age and i was just enjoying their company to be their regular customer. The unresolved matter I'm facing right nw is

the dark circle

under the eyes. The salegirls at Bodyshop recommended me a few concealers to hide the eyebags but it seems not really working.

Flawless Skin Protecting Concealer (RM75)

The only practical solution is to:

QUIT your job!

...and be a good housewife ;)
which i think would probably impossible right now. Oh btw, i just wanna share the photos during the Asian TEFL conference in Seoul Korea last July 2011; I was pleased that Jun Sang Park uploaded one my photos on his blog:

You may visit his blog:
http://blog.naver.com/victoryjsp/99627868 . But sorry, it is in Korean language. The only thing i remember about him is , among the millions audience in the conference room, he tegur me and asked, "Dear lady, how is the method of English teaching at your country? May you share with us?"Haha. Yeah,of coz i'm glad to share it with the audience. But he was just tooooo..goodlooking that some of our Malaysian women thought he is one of the Korean actors.

Jun Sang Park & me

Alright, i guess i gtg now. It is now 11pm and i would have to do some more readings for journal submission. It's a never ending writing, i need help. Oh, i need tips to reduce the eyebag, plz! Reading too much or gluing my eyes on the laptop screen won't help!

Exploring Men's Thoughts

2012-01-07T16:09:00.000-08:00

First of all, Happy New Year to all readers.
I was browsing through my FB wall and read this annoying Facebook posts:

Semakin seksi wanita semakin banyak pula DOSA lelaki..
Semakin degil wanita semakin banyak pula DOSA lelaki..
Semakin liar wanita semakin banyak pula DOSA lelaki..

WAHAI WANITA bantulah lelaki BUKAN SEKSA LELAKI !
... WAHAI WANITA pelihara lelaki BUKAN BEBAN LELAKI !
WAHAI WANITA sayangi lelaki BUKAN BENCI LELAKI !

LELAKI ADALAH KETUA DALAM KEHIDUPAN SESEORANG WANITA SAMA ADA MENJADI AYAH,SUAMI ATAU PUN SAUDARA LELAKI !

DENGARLAH NASIHAT KAMI AGAR KAMU TIDAK MENARIK KAMI KE NERAKA ATAS KESALAHAN KAMU ! ( -_-)

Oh, i guess the male species shld stop posting about this crap, really. How many of them really2 follow the teaching of Islam and chasing for the opportunity to be in Jannah (Heaven). And what is worse, the men r looking for a perfect wife but they themselves hang out with bad girls, bawa perempuan ke hulu ke hilir, bermesra dgn ramai perempuan di Night Club, naik motor berempit sesama lelaki perempuan : are these the ways Muslim men should behave? How are the women going to listen to the so-called "men's advice" if they also hanyut ditarik utk menjadi ahli neraka. LOL. Now ada hati nak cari wanita solehah bila diri sendiri pun tak soleh.

If women are sexy, degil or wild, it is not an excuse for men to be sinners. A true Muslim man would restrain themselves from Zina and prevent themselves from anything that may cause Fitnah. Women are not to be blamed, but guided. MEN- you claim that you are the leaders in the family and Ummah, but have you played your role effectively in developing a good Muslim community?

Yay! Sem break's coming!

2011-12-12T05:41:00.001-08:00

I am hopelessly waiting for the semester break.
I'm going to KL to see some old friends.
I cant wait!
For regular visitors of this blog,
I owe you my hugs and kisses.

:)

Breaking Dawn Part 1

2011-11-30T05:42:00.000-08:00

In your life, what would you choose? Love, hope or sacrifice?

First of all, Bravo for purchasing the movie ticket on the first day it was released! LOL. I couldnt believe that I watched Breaking Dawn (Twilight Saga) last Thursday while others in campus are still snuzzling over classes, lesson plans and classes registration. Well, who else can deprive me from watching Jacob and Edward who seem hopeless at times in winning Isabella Swan's heart.

For Twilight movie series, I would say this would be the best movie, compared to the previous ones despite the overwhelming 18Sx scene and the so-called drama caught between the Cullen family and the werewolves. As usual, the movie highlights Isabella Swan or Bella - the heroin, who is now married to Edward Cullen in a beautiful garden wedding attended by family, close friends and relatives. The first part of the movie makes me swept with sweet emotion - just looking at the wedding gown, fresh red and white roses embellished the aisle, white candles and tea set on the guests table.. they really complete the puzzles of my dream wedding. Besides, the moment Edward kissed Bella after they are pronounced as husband and wife, i felt my heart tingled with joy and i was like screaming- Yay, they are together at last!!

For Twilight fans, i'm sure you are aware that Edward and Bella had gone through many obstacles in their relationship. In spite of their difference, they are united on the name of true love. To me, Stephanie Meyer had really brought us explore the love between a vampire and a human in a very dramatic way. The fans out there would probably question about the fate of another hero in the movie who is Jacob, Bella's bestfriend. Jacob, who is in love with Bella has to let go Bella in search for her bestfriend's happiness. Tall and with athletic figure (different with Edward who is kurus kering), Jacob easily melts a girl's heart with his brave, loving and sweet manner. He sacrifices his love, be there for Bella when she is in need and Jacob is willing to protect Bella in any way it'd be - though it means he had to go against his own family. So, the question is... could a man really love a woman so truly and deeply? Or in other words, could he still love her eventhough he knows she is married to someone else? In this movie, Jacob really could.

To some Twilight fans, they would find that Jacob is the real hero in Breaking Dawn Part 1. In the movie, Jacob is the one who came to seek for Bella (though she is now a married woman) when he eventually finds out the news that Bella's pregnancy may lead her to death. He is the one who consoles Bella and gives words of encouragement though he knows she might not listen to him.

Bella's pregnancy is very extraordinary to the Cullen family because according to the tradition, vampires would never produce babies. Since we were aware of the fact that Bella is a human who married to a vampire, she is now pregnant of a half-human-half-vampire infant. Carlisle, Edward's father warns Bella that she might face death if she decides to keep the baby since a human body does not have strong immune system to bear the extraordinary pregnancy.

So, here comes the downfall of the marriage when Edward pursuades her to abort the infant while Bella wants to keep her baby. Although I can see the connection of the mother-child-relationship between Bella and the infant, i would say that Bella is quite selfish for not considering the fact that Edward cannot live without her and the Cullens would take care of the baby when she is gone. She leaves Edward with no decision.

Suprisingly, Bella delivered a healthy baby girl and Bella then turned into a vampire.LOL. This would probably relieved Edward but maybe not Jacob. We would have to wait for Breaking Dawn Part 2 to know the ending. Or you can just purchase the whole set of Twilight novels to know the truth.

If you asked me what i like about the movie, I would definitely say the wedding ceremony and the honeymoon place. If you feel that your boyfriend or partner is not the romantic type, this movie might bore him to death but it is also a lesson to teach him to understand what a girl really wants from a relationship. What Edward does to his wife and what Jacob does to the girl he loves really impress me.

Do these kinds of guy ever exist in this world?

To Mom with Love

2011-11-27T04:37:00.000-08:00

Just had my dinner - Kangkung Belacan, Ikan Masak Kicap and Sambal Tempoyak at home sweet home. It tasted good - we were all starving since the evening, thus, rather than going somewhre to order nasi bungkus, I reaved over the fridge and found a few pieces of ikan tongkol. I told Mom that i could cook the fish for our dinner. Mom said she hadnt eaten kangkung for quite a long time. So, i told her that if she craved for the dish, i would prepare them for her. So, i pillaged over the onion containers, got some kangkung she bought from the market and called out my sister Jihah to assist me but it was no use. She was still sleeping in front of the TV and i could hear my Mom bising2 for she was sleeping till maghrib. So, i continued doing my work at the kitchen sambil mop lantai. I noticed recently, Mom hasn't got the time or energy to clean our house and kitchen properly like before. As time passes by, she spends most of her time lying down on the carpet near the television and falls asleep. There are times when i pissed off with my youngest sister Jihah for not giving much help to her.

Right now, i know Mom needs her rest,i even offered her to hire a maid but she refused. She said, rugi upah orang buat kerja rumah. After for quite a time, i finished preparing the meals and we had our dinner together. Mom said she loves the Ikan i cooked and asked if I sprinkled some lemon in the sauce since it tasted diffrent with her ordinary dish. I said yes, coz i found lemon in the fridge and trying to utilize it like the Master Chef. LOL. The other possible reason could be because i didnt knw where Mom keeps her vinegar bottle, i knw lemon juice would replace vinegar or make it tastes better. After eating, i reached for my laptop and started blogging while the TV is on with the new reality tv show - Vokal Bukan Sekadar Rupa. Mom is still beside me and as usual, she falls asleep again. I kissed her on the cheek and if possible Mom.. i would prepare you Sup Ikan Kod like before.

Sup Ikan Kod

I love you, Mom. I love you until the rain stops and the sun falls from the sky.

Missing Pieces...

2011-11-22T03:01:00.000-08:00

UIA 23rd Convocation 2007

Hey readers, i came across my degree graduation pic with UIA friends. Feel like sharing the photo with you.LOL.Frankly speaking, i dislike the bulky green robe i 'm wearing - I remember it was not my size and i had to squeeze in and pretended that i was happy with my outfit. Only God knows how uncomfortable it felt. But my hearful thank you goes to my dear friend Sal Ijou for lending her hand to book the robe and collected it for me. At that very moment, i was already working in UiTM Dungun! To all long-lost friends, where have you been?

Besides tracking old friends, i guess the only thing you won't be able to trace is when someone left you forever. Well, it's been more than a week that my little rabbit "Adik" gone to heaven. He passed away on Friday last week, 11.11.2011. The real reason is unknown but according to my sister, Jihah..he used to swallow too many plants while playing, that makes him fall sick. Guess i lost one beautiful pet.

Healthy "Adik" and "Baby"

Adik learns standing with both feet

As much as i love both rabbits, I know that everyone shall taste death. Baby is still healthy, but i need to find her a partner so she won't die in boredom.

Next, i have left a hobby which i long to do again - that is Horse Riding. I have never really got the time to visit the kandang again but yea, i can smell the place from here :p

Year 2011 - A Lavish Success

2011-11-19T00:25:00.000-08:00

It is less than two months before we are heading to the New Year 2012. To utter the year itself brings me a goosebump; not because of the fact that we are getting older but the rumor propogated by the western that the world is going to its end next year. Well, no human can tell nor predict the exact date of doomsday, but of course Allah swt has set its big and small signs in the Quran which obviously draws back our attention to this issue - Hari Kiamat is coming soon! The day and time - no one knows.

My entry this time is more like a self-reflection of what i have achieved this year - 2011. Despite the ups and down - the struggles, the pain and tears i had gone through all this year, it is worth to smile in joy and shouted to the world.. "Yay, i made it!". Allah has given me a lot of trials to endure for all these while and I am very thankful that He has given me more love and strength everyday in which is shown in every good deed i did. I remember when I asked for courage, He gave me obstacles to overcome. When i asked for love, He sent me trouble people to help.

There are times when I cried at night deciding that life was unfair and I questioned God why was i chosen among His slaves to suffer the injustice.But God has never been wrong. I realize that i am stronger than before. I notice that i am more loving and passionate to what i do. I can see the light is shining at the end of the path i am taking. Subhanallah.. i started believing that Allah doesnt give you what you want, but He gives you what you NEED in life.If He doesnt grant your prayer, He is planning something better for you. He is protecting you from the evil of the world.Now, i am beginning to love my life than ever. I love my new salary - it is a LOT for a single woman like me. Alhamdulillah. I even got extra income for partime teaching, talk and other services. Alhamdulillah again. What else could i ask for more? Allah has eased my career path. Although there's a little problem i am facing regarding work matter, i begin to redha and I know God is promising something better for me. Alhamdulillah that in March 2011, I attended my graduation day in USM - Apex University in which i obtained Master of Arts (English Language and Linguistics Studies).

In April 24-26, I attended an International Language Conference in UIA Gombak with the title of my presentation Exploring Motivation and Attitude in Learning English Among First Semester Tourism Students in UiTM Penang. I was quite nervous as it was my first time presenting in a conference but the the audience was very kind and supportive. They gave me a big applause despite a little inaccuracy in my explanations. I was grateful to learn from this first experience! :

With my UIA friend i met during the conference

With my ex-UIA friends / conference participants

On the 14-16 June, i attended another International Conference organized by USM in Parkroyal Hotel Penang and the title is Children's Mature Morality in Roald Dahl's Selected Novels. To me, the presentation is a success. The conference room is crowded with international and local people (i cant believe that many are fans of Roald Dahl). If Roald Dahl is still alive, he must be proud of me. LOL.

My presentation slideshow

The opening ceremony

On the 7th-11th July, i visited Singapore and covered the Marina Bay, Pulau Sentosa,Universal Studio and Ambiah Lookout as part of my travelling places. Here are the photos:

Universal Studio, Hollywood

At Kingdom of Far, Far Away

With Wood Tucker

On the 23-30th July, i was in Seoul, Korea for another International Conference. The best part was, i made new friends with people from all around the world. My presentation this time around is about children's literature - An Analysis of Children's Immature Morality in Roald Dahl's Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. As my presentation was on the 3rd day in the morning (8.30am), the crowd is less but i was glad the audience comes from those who teach in kindergarten and those who love children.

With other Malaysian presenters

During presentation

Having Korean lunch with the Asian TEFL family

My very own Korean meal

With other presenters and participants

With Japanese friends

On the 10th Sept, my collegaue and i took part in IID Competition organized by Research Management Unit, UiTM Penang. Although we did not win any medal, i learned a lot from the experience!

Me and my collegue Mr Mah

Now, it's already November. It's not a sweet November like we watch in Keanu Reeves movie. Things around you seem to happen unexpectedly. My ex-boyfriend is getting married tomorrow, i wonder how his preparation is. Deep inside my heart, i pray that he will be doing ok with his future wife. Now, i really really understand marriage is not the only key to happiness. Allah has protected me from falling for the wrong man. Now, i can see slowly the hikmah that He had set for me. I am blessed with a stable job, loving family, understanding friends and I have given the opportunity to travel to other places. You are right, Old Dwalf - I was chosen among the many ppl to see the beauty of nature and culture on the other side of the world. What else could i ask for more? Being single for now has no harm - Isnt what Allah has given knocks my heart to bermunajat and pray to Him more? And the time and space given to me while being single encouraged me to give charity and spend time with my parents more. I believe destiny would bring me to a man who deserves love and spiritual peace.

Alhamdulillah.
The curtain of 2011 will be closed with a lot of sweet and bitter memories.
Smiling, i can feel the storm has calmed down slowly with a more soothing cooling wind.

Welcome, new students.

2011-11-17T03:12:00.000-08:00

I was in Kuala Lumpur for 6 days attending an academic mission. The days seem to fly away so fast and i cant believe the new semester is beginning to start next monday on the 21st Nov. For the past few semesters, life was hectic and stepping your feet at the classroom during the first week is a big no-no-mood due to the holiday fever.But its kinda different now, i cant wait for monday! I cant wait to see the faces of the students! Haha. I cant wait to teach..
Probably because life is tough lately -
the only way to forget it is by teaching and seeing my students.
And of course new semester means new students.
I dont knw how they will look like.
But i knw they'll face hard and hilarious time with me.
Welcome..new students.
Let's have fun with English puzzles, games and acting studio!
:p

Twinkle twinkle little star

2011-11-16T09:44:00.000-08:00

I wish i could tell the readers how significant 16th November is.
But i cant -
So, i want the world to knw that you are special 2me..
You are my breath..
my everything.
Happy anniversary.

Here come the Trials..

2011-11-07T05:53:00.001-08:00

I wish love is like Baby Shampoo- No more tears.

But in fact, i have cried too many times until my eyes hurt. The feeling - i tell you... is terrible. I'v never been up to these kind of trials.
God knows that to fix what is broken is difficult.
And to squeeze away from society's expectation is a different story. For all these while, I've heard many of my collegues are stepping into a new phase of life. Some quit their jobs. Some are leaving for a new home. Getting married. Pregnant a second baby. Got a promotion for a new job. Pursuing PHD. Divorced. Happily come back from study abroad. And the list goes on!
What about me?
What have i gained for these 4years after graduation? *wondering.

Once upon a time..there was a Lover.

2011-11-01T23:26:00.000-07:00

Have you ever heard people say, "If you love someone, let him go. If he is yours, he will come back. If not, his love is nevers yours to be with!" - And it's even hard to grasp when the person you love ends with someone else who seems to be the third party in your relationship. You would start asking yourself, "What cud hav gone wrong?", "Am i not doing good enough?" or "Is the girl better than me?" or the harsh way would be, "You are an ass hole,glad that you met a similar partner."

I remember the moment when i first time felt the world was rocking to its end as if all the images of a perfect relationship and a happy family collapsed and burned into thin air. I still remember when my friend in college told me that you were seeing another girl but I put my trust in you that we are in a long-distance relationship and it is okay for you to hang out with friends or girlfriends. I remember in college when one or two guys approached me for a date, but i smiled nicely and told them that i am in a relationship with my boyfriend - that he will feel jealous if he knew. Indeed, i know you were the jealous type, and i understand that i would hav to take care of your feelings, that i really appreciate you in my life and i want our relationship to last long.

I remember it very much when i accepted your apology when i was mad at you for finding out that you've been dating a girl behind my back for the reason that it was a small misunderstanding that SHE is ACTUALLY your BESTFRIEND and she helps you a lot especially in study. As far as i am concernd, she was also the one who were looking after you at the hospital when you were injured while playing soccer. I was sorry that i couldnt be there near you all the time - but i never stopped making phonecalls everyday just to know that you were okay.

I remember when i ended up writing poems, wrapping chocolates and heart-shaped sweets and designing small beautiful cards for your birthday or special events to express my feelings for you. I never knew that you'd understand or appreciate the real meaning behind the words of Shakespeare or Emily Bronte, but i knw that you love them since you say they were cute and you kept all the gifts in one box. Now, I wish i could take back all the gifts, tie them up and throw them all into the dark ocean. If you know how to break ppl's heart, you might as well do it to my belongings.

I now never felt regret to leave you from my world. It was me who asked for a breakup. After wasting 5years with a guy like you, i know that i have to move on to a new life. I am now happy with lovely sweethearts and friends - leaving you all the sweet and bitter memories of yours. Sadly, i dont know why you are spreading the news to others that we broke up because i was dating someone else. It hurts my feeling since i know that i have always been honest to you and never go out with any guy behind your back. We were so young back, then. We were 18 when we started knowing each other. Maybe we were so immature to handle a wise decision or maybe we hav put so much endless effort that it hurt us even more.

Well, i told myself that it is okay. Maybe you need time to be apart from me. It was not that you never can live without me since the girl is by yourside always. My question to you is, "If you really2 love me, why were you never be true to me in our relationship?Why did it hurt you so much when i asked for a breakup? And worst of all, why do u make up bad stories about me to ur friends when i myself left you to make you happy with your so-called bestfriend?"

Now, you sent me a wedding invitation card.
What do you expect me to do?
Praying for your happiness?
Or eating nasi minyak beside you on the same bride and groom's table?
Ohhh..i've been praying for your happiness for so..many times until i forgot to pray for my own.
And I am not mad at your wife-to-be. Maybe in our love triangle, i was just a minor character...coz she takes the leading role and it was her destiny to marry the prince charming. And well, you are no more a prince charming to me. You are just a small dot that causes my A4 white-paper-LIFE a mess.

Thank you for the lessons i got for free.
May you gain your happiness with the new phase.

Bakal Penulis (Writer to-be)

2011-10-31T21:09:00.000-07:00

Salam and hello semuanya! :)

Pagi ini makan sarapan pagi bersama kawan2 di satu gerai berdekatan. Sepinggan nasi lemak dgn lauk kari daging bersama ubi kentang hanya rm1.50. Saya juga memesan secawan teh o panas. Tak sangka juga harganya hanya rm0.50. So, belanja utk pagi ini hanya rm2.00. Sangat save budget kerana tadi makan juga agk kenyang dan tak perlu lagi mkn tengahari! :)

Di office, hidup agak membosankan. Maklumlah, cuti semester dan tiada pelajar. Sebenarnya, masih byk kerja yg harus disiapkan. Cuma mood masih belum ada. Skrang, saya perlu memotivasikan diri utk menyiapkan satu lagi projek bersama supervisor di USM. Insyaallah, if ada rezeki, dpt menulis dan terbitkan...n dapat la royalty.hehe!

Buat pengetahuan semua, ada satu lagi impian saya yg masih belum tercapai. Nak jadi seorang penulis novel yg berjaya. Skrang ni, saya tgk byk juga novel melayu yang laris di pasaran tapi kebanyakannya semua berkisarkan cinta. Maklumlah, zaman remaja..budak2 perempuan suka la kisah2 cinta. Teringat pula zaman sek.menengah bila dapat surat cinta dari budak dari sekolah lelaki. Kat sekolah saya dlu, semua pelajar sekolah perempuan. Jadi, ramai jugalah yang menggedik utk berkawan dgn mereka yang bersekolah lelaki. Yang ber'couple' lagi lah ramai tapi semuanya hangat2 tahi ayam. Sekejap putus dan ber'couple' dgn lelaki lain pula. Tgk2 zaman skrang, semuanya jumpa pasangan yang takda kena-mengena dgn lelaki yng mereka jumpa semasa sekolah.hehe!

Ada sekali saya berkongsi hasrat saya utk menulis novel kepada ayah dan ibu. Mereka sangat menyokong. Lagipun, masa sekolah dulu..mmg saya selalu menulis cerpen...dan sering memperoleh markah yg tinggi utk Kertas 2 Bahagian Esei. Manalah tau yg itu merupakan salah satu motivasi utk menceburkan diri dlm bidang penulisan. Novel di pasaran mmg byk..seperti cendawan tumbuh di musim hujan. Tapi yang berkualiti itu kurang. Kebanyakan penulis menulis utk mendapatkan perhatian remaja perempuan untk membeli dan menangis..dan mereka akan ambil wang royalty utk setiap jualan. Kadang2, bahasa yang digunakan juga bahasa pasar dan menggalakkan budak sekolah bercinta. Memang susah la jika begini. Harap2, byk la penulis yang menitikberatkan hal ini dan lebih byk menulis berkaitan cinta yang diselitkan dgn unsur agama.

Malah, moral di kalangan muda-mudi kita sekrang makin lama makin teruk. Masalah sosial merata2. Tak tau apa nak jadi zaman skrang. Biasa lah, dunia dah akhir zaman...mcm2 boleh berlaku. Tak dapat saya byangkan bagaimana nak membesarkan anak2 di zaman yng serba moden ini. Disebabkan itulah, perlu kahwin dgn lelaki yg soleh dan tak tinggal sembahyang 5waktu. Sya mmg pantang juga la sekiranya lelaki jenis tak endah bab2 smbahnyang ini. Apabila jadi ketua keluarga, kenalah pandai didik anak bini. Semoga Tuhan mengkabulkan permintaan hambaNya yang menginginkan suami soleh :) Orang kata, walaupun belum berkahwin atau ada anak..skarang la masa utk berdoa utk dapat anak yang baik2 dan mendengar kata. Insyaallah, anak2 saya yg kacak dan cantik nanti semuanya akan dididik dgn ilmu agama yg sempurna. Ini janji ibumu :)
* How i wish this blog still exists when i have my own children!

Sekian sahaja pada hari ini. Semoga kita bertemu di lain masa :)

Facebook's Fool

2011-10-29T23:32:00.000-07:00

It's Sunday Blues..
I log in to my facebook and as usual, posted things on my wall and commented on ppl's wall post. Of all the many things being posted daily, I think Facebook should change the status from "what's on your mind" to "what's your problem today". LOL. And again, due to the rainfall (i wish it's Fall not raindrops) and sunny weather, i spent most of my weekend lying on bed and chitchating with ppl online. The funny part was when a guy whom i dont know (blame me for accepting all the friends' requests), is trying to menyiasat whether i go dating on the weekend etc. When i said i didnt, he asked me about my hubby and how many kids do i have. Well, idiot.. you can easily view my profile to find out my details kot.. whether i am single, married or divorced - or with whom i hav a relationship with - Well, it is none of your business.

Knowing that he is a stranger, i then told him a lie that I am happily married with two kids.

Well, that is the best answer i could ever give. I dont know why i lied, but probably because i hated it when he keeps their identity hidden but at the same time wanted to find out more about you. For your info, the guy refused to tell who he is - he never uploaded photos of his, never exposed his biodata and profile to the public but then, he is excited to know you; especially when he himself can view your photos and profile.

Suprisingly, it did not end there. He then wanted to know my husband and kids' names. LOL. What would you do if you WERe me? Not expecting to waste more time, i told him i was bz with my hubby and my two beautiful kids - that we are going to the lake nearby for a picnic.

I guess he got enough and left.

Facebook's fool.I'm sure he wished that it is not April :p

Date, Dating ,Outdated.

2011-10-08T07:01:00.000-07:00

The date today is 8th October, 2011. Yesterday was 7th and tomorrow's gonna be the 9th. But again, what is the significance? Would anyone out there really care about the month, the date or the year? They were just numbers which guide and determine the day you are living on this earth. And again, you will never knw what will happen in the future and the very moment you are going to leave this world.

When talking about numbers, i was never really good in Maths nor brilliant in arithmetic but i was quite bright in numbers. I easily remember numbers (especially when the date has something significant with certain events) and recognize the rhythm of music. Thus, it made me easy to remember birthdays, telephone numbers and home address of my friends even though i never jot them out on a paper. My brain is the calendar - and even until nw, i never used a diary and i never forget the date of my department meeting, my appointment with students etc. Amazing, huh??

Some ppl might feel it is a gift from God. But in the darker side, it's difficult for me to forget certain sad events or blaring tragedy. Sometimes, i used to wake up in the morning and the atmosphere brings me back to the past once i remember that particular date. Well, here are a few important dates in the long time ago in which i cant erase from my mind. They are plunging my mind anywhere i go!

2 Sept - my ex birthday
29 Oct - anniversary with ex
6 july, 9 August, 31 May - people's birthday whom i never keep in touch with due to certain reasons
16 Nov - my anniversary with lovely one

...and the list goes on!

But i knw that 7th Oct would be in my mind forever starting today!
Coz Westlife landed in Kuala Lumpur to perform their concert here.

I Miss You

2011-09-27T07:22:00.000-07:00

Back with exam scripts marking - but my eyelids hardly open after long hours, cramming my neck back n forth reading the students' English essays. So, I decided to start updating my blog again!

Well, i know this blog has been neglected for soo...long. It is not like the Paleolitic ppl are going to read it anyway, but i realized the number of readers are less compared to two years ago. Well, two years ago would hav painted a thousand of stories with lots of ups and down and my very own journey through my study and career years. This blog has been with me from the beginning of the intense life as a lecturer, the struggles to compete with other Master students/classmates and the bitter pain of being a mid 20's woman. This blog has really been my bestfriend, (though it may not be with me all the time) but it connects me with the other side of world and other bloggers as well.It's the place where i reach my readers' thought and i read theirs.

Actually, I'd really like to thank everybody especially Old Dwarf for being my online faithful bestfriend.God knows how much kindness i need to repay you, right. For standing by my side whether i sink or swim. There are also a few readers i would like to mention here - but i dont know if they ever come back to read this entry. Coz Life would have become very different every now and then.

Here is a poem i hav on my mind right now:

I miss you like i never met you yestdy,
I miss you like i wont meet you tomorrw.
If we meet today,
Would i miss you as much as i do now?
Or would our hearts beat to two?
As years passed by..
and time flies free.
I carved our names on the sand.
The waves might wipes them away..
The rain might drop hard till dawn.
But the memories remain -
like it never fade.

Till then, till we meet in another entry.

Think and grow Rich!

2011-09-23T07:48:00.000-07:00

Have you ever dreamt to be a millionaire? Have you ever felt tired working 24-hours and realize your effort is rewarded with little cash which makes you repeat the same daily routine to earn money 2support living? If yes, you are now trapped in a phenomenon called "rat-race". You may have graduated with a PHD and high qualification but you lead a frustrating life. You gotta pay high bills, taxes, car loans, credit cards etc.

Seriously, i havent got much time to read the book 'Think and Grow Rich" - by Robert T. Kiyosaki. The only book i ever khatam is Rich Dad, Poor Dad which really changes my perception about $$$$. And the ever lucky draw i ever got during UPALS ICL conference in Bayview hotel is a book by the same author entitled - Retire Young, Retire Rich. LOL. Guess its like a sign for me to start and work smart to free myself from the rat-race.

If you ever got the time to sit back for a while - or you feel you need strategies for financial management - all these books are for you! They are all available in the nearest bookstore.

Remember - "Don't work for money - let money work for you".

Gen-Y Children

2011-09-07T06:10:00.001-07:00

In the past, we never had mobile phones but we always managed to find each other. Who knows that with the advance of technology, people nowadays turn into a lazy ass. They use laptops to replace the typewriter..and they shift to microwave to heat the food. I was born in the 1980's and remember my childhood years quite well. It was fun to be around with friends with the same age or older, and we shouted at the boys like we fight our siblings. I used to cling around with my brother and his friends. We climbed the hills,played hide-and-seek, fought war, played kampung games and come back late at night before dark to then have dinner with the family. We broke our arms, get bruises and scars on the knee BUT nobody made a fuss about it.

For children during my time, we never owned a playstation, internet, video games etc BUT we always had REAL friends who painted smile and happiness on our cute faces. We jumped, we sit, we joked and we cried together. Falling in love also made a different sweet touch. We used to get love letters and small notes slipped down our school lockers from the secret admirer. It's different with nowadays dating world when ppl rely more on mobile phones, facebook and GPS. In our era, we never knew the word SMS. Those whose in different gender who'd like to set up a date with us hav to call our house fix-line and those who are LUCKY might even ended up talking to the parents!

It's kind of sad that parents in this modern time are not able to keep track with the children's activities due to the virtual world. Children are more comfortable to engage with the electronic gadgets which worsen the generation gap. Facebook has become no.1 entertainment. Mobile phones are now food to the loneliness. GPS now is the solution of the old version 'treasure' map.

Have you ever wondered what would happen 20 years from now?
Are we going to hav more technology developing to ease the work burden but eventually corrupt the social habit of a human?
And How do our children look like in the future? Are they going to cover their head with giant earphones whenever we talk or give advice to them?

There are no exact answers to these questions. Parents nowadays are more open-minded and tend to give more freedom to their children. Freedom is necessary but comprehensive education with religious knowldge must be implanted within the soul in order to survive in today's modern and challenging world. ALthough it's difficult, the choices are in your hand.

When there is a will, there is a way.

Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri

2011-09-02T16:39:00.000-07:00

Today is the 5th day of Syawal.
I'm wishing everybody a prosperous Eid with lots of love and blessings.
To beloved family and friends, you are my air and breath.
To sweetheart, you are the song of my heart.
To all Muslims - this is the month to forgive others though it is difficult to swallow the bitter part. But remember that life is all about stumbling hard and spreading wings to soar up high.
Maaf Zahir Batin.

Hello Mr Blog

2011-06-29T07:29:00.000-07:00

Hey readers (*as if there's any), i am back. Sorry for keeping you waitin' so long! As usual, the same lame excuse.. busy gila la skrng. Well, it is so damn true. With lots of things going on right nw, i know that i need some rest.

Actually, i wanna share a lot of things with you but makin lama makin malas pulak nak menulis a.k.a menaip. Why not you just give me a call? That's better ;)
Till then, bye.

p/s i love you.

Graduation Day :)

2011-03-20T08:07:00.000-07:00

I officially graduated my M.A yesterday. The event took place at USM NIbol Tebal, P.Pinang.. with lots of love and joyful moments with family and friends.
It feels good.
Seriously, it feels like a wedding ceremony..
Except the groom is not there :p
Thank you everyone for your support through the lonely and challenging journey.
I owe you my hugs.

I will Reach You

2011-02-13T23:32:00.000-08:00

If you've got a candle,
you'd better light it now.
If you've got a voice,
you'd better shout out loud.
Raise your hands above this crowd,
I will reach you :)

Brainy vs Attitude

2011-02-10T00:47:00.000-08:00

You know you're getting old(er) when your friends are getting married and start having kids. ~Old-town friend, 2010.

Is marriage the bond of two minds?

10 years ago, my ideal boyfriend would be someone who is:
1 - Handsome (..with a cute smile to die for!)
2- Impressive personality
3- Intelligent and smart
4- Rich but money comes the last!

To tell you the truth...10 years ago, I believed in the love of Romeo and Juliet, when you fall in love with a handsome guy who is able to sacrifice anything for you. Materials are out of the questions coz I believed in true love in which it could happen in a second and it haunts you forever once you are hooked to that someone. Love is sweet, love is what makes the world go round.

Conclusion: Good looks on the top of the list, followed by the guy's personality, intelligence and money income.

What happens after 5 years?
...I started deciding that my ideal soulmate would be someone who is:
1) Intelligent enough to impress me and my gilrfriends
2) Charismatic personality
3) Handsome
4) Not so rich since money comes with an effort

Yes, 5 years ago, intelligence becomes my priority.I realized a smart and brainy man would hold a potential future of a better living. Attitude is important too but looks matter less. Money is essential but someone who is striving for money by his own is better than the wealth inherited from the family. Being wise and intelligent helps you to get more money in the future.

Conclusion: Intelligence comes on the top, followed by charismatic personality, good looks and economical stability.

What happens after 3 years to now?
...now.., i started selecting that my ideal future husband would be someone who is:
1) Wise in personality with strong religious view
2) Strong financial background but not necessarily rich
3) Smart but not necessarily intelligent
4) Handsome but not necessarily cute

Conclusion: Personality ranks the top, followed by money, intelligence and good looks.

Now, i realized life is not a fairy tale. Attitude and money go along together. You can never survive your life and parents' expectation without them.An intelligent man is none without a strong good personality, wise judgement and strong religious view. Looks do not matter anymore while wealth does. They give you power to regain influence in your family. You can't live with love alone. In order to nurture the love, you need money to sustain the relationship.

Weird.
People's perception changes.
I am confused of what ppl really want in a marriage.
But our Malay society shapes me.

Mommy, I love you

2011-02-03T07:23:00.000-08:00

I'd been staying at Ipoh Hospital for three days.
Mommy is warded due to her excessive lump on her right part of body.
Unfortunately, the stay had turned out damn boring with no entertainment etc (plus, the wifi is slow and i failed to access the internet at all!). I tried to finish reading the autobiography of Mahatma Gandi - the Experimental of Truth, but the lights off lead me listening to the mp3 i borrowed from Ika.
The best and least thing i could do is - I used to lay down on bed beside Mom all the time.
Some nurses are just annoying, not to mention the Pak Guard who scolded visitors who break the rules of visiting time.
Thank God Mom shows a gradual change of a better health condition.
Taking care of her reminds me of her constant love and care towards her children.
Touching her hands grasps my thought of how lucky to be close to her right now.
I miss you, Mom.
I love you now and until the day i lose my breath.

Hukum Tarikan - Penyelesaian Persepsi Masalah Rumahtangga?

2011-01-16T21:19:00.000-08:00

Edisi Ke-tiga

Saya terpanggil untuk memberi sedikit komen tentang masalah rumahtangga yang dilalui oleh masyarakat kita seperti yang dipaparkan di akhbar, risalah dan artikel di internet. Baru-baru ini terdapat pula kes di mana perbezaan umur antara suami dan isteri juga dijadikan isu untuk berbalah. Kes penceraian Norman hakim dan Abby Abadi juga sering diperkatakan oleh pelbagai pihak. Malah, Abby yang masih cantik juga diketepikan oleh suaminya disebabkan ingin memperisterikan si dia yang lebih muda. Ada juga pendapat mengatakan, tidak kira si isteri seorang yang sempurna, cantik dan pandai mengemas rumah atau tidak, jika suami sudah bosan dengan isterinya, dia tetap akan pasang satu lagi. Umur juga kadangkala dijadikan satu sebab utk sesebuah pasangan itu bertengkar.

Pada pendapat saya, tidak kira berapa beza umur suami atau isteri itu, tolak ansur dan saling memahami itu penting. Mungkin ada pendapat mengatakan bahawa suami yg lebih muda lambat laun akan bosan dengan isteri yang lebih tua daripadanya dan seterusnya akan mengahwini perempuan yg lebih muda dan cantik. Islam telahpun menggariskan panduan utk mencari calon suami dan isteri iaitu agama menjadi aset paling penting. Jadi, tidak kira lah sama ada si suami itu lebih tua atau muda, jika dia mahu curang dan membelakangkan isteri, perkara tersebut tetap akan berlaku. Namun, jika kebetulan lelakinya muda, masyarakat akan menuding jari kepada kelemahan si isteri kerana telah memilih calon suami yang lebih muda daripadanya dan hal ini menjadi penyebab rumah tangga itu bergolak. Jika lelaki itu lebih tua pula, masyarakat akan menyalahkan isteri juga kerana tidak pandai menjaga penampilan dan makan minum si suami. Pendek kata, masalah sebegini kerap menjadi bualan masyarakat dan kita tidak dapat lari daripadanya. Isteri menjadi mangsa keadaan dalam menghadapi tohmahan semua pihak.

Samada kita menyedarinya atau tidak, kisah rumahtangga di dada akhbar juga sering digembar-gemburkan dengan isu penceraian, penderaan pasangan, masuk campur keluarga mertua dan masalah kewangan. Hampir setiap minggu, kisah ini dilaporkan untuk tatapan pembaca. Tidakkah kita sedari bahawa disebabkan kita sering melihat sudut negatif sesuatu perkara, kita akhirnya menarik tenaga negatif di sekeliling kita dan cenderung terjebak dengan gejala yang negatif juga. Contohnya, jika kita sering memikirkan seseorang, orang yang kita fikir mungkin menelefon kita pada keesokan harinya. Dan apabila kita membenci sangat2 pada seseorang, orang yang seperti itu lah yang kita akan jumpa pada hari berikutnya. Ini ialah prinsip Hukum Tarikan. Positif menarik positif, negatif menarik negatif juga.

Oleh itu, mengapa tidak kita lihat dan fokus pada kisah2 perkahwinan yang bahagia di mana ianya boleh menjadi teladan utk mereka yang baru ingin mendirikan rumahtangga. Nescaya, tenaga positif yang diambil daripada kisah-kisah tersebut dapat membimbing kita untuk menjadi modal insan yang lebih baik dan berkepimpinan.

XxPuteri Salju..xx

Saya Pun Suka Awak :)

2011-01-07T00:24:00.000-08:00

Saya suka awak. Saya nak awak hadir selalu di samping saya - Cornetto Love.

I wish he could give me a strawberry cornetto...
like the lovers i watched on the TV.
I wish we could sit on the bench near the lake...
like the loving couples i read in a love story.
I wish we could grow old together and be in each other 's arms.
I wish i could hold you close and never let go.
I wish i could wait for you...
like a princess waiting for the hero.
I wish i could.
I love you.

Goodbye 2010

2011-01-01T07:39:00.000-08:00

Don't compare yourself with others.
Look at the qualities inside you - those that others dream to have.
~Home-town best friend.

~A Tribute To My Girl friends~

It's the New Year Eve.
I didn't celebrate the joy of bunga api like the other teenagers on the streets at my hometown do. Heck, in fact i am not a teenager no more, i cant believe that it's difficult to swallow the truth that your age would increase year by year. It doesn't matter how young or old you look, but you'll grow old at the end somehow. Like the wise men say, beauty fades away slowly without we noticing it. Yeah, i eventually agree with it. That's when i started to flashback the memory in childhood, high school and college years. I miss my friends. I miss all my girl-friends. I miss the glory of achieving good grades in academics, chasing after boys, gaining popularity in cheerleaders, playing prank calls to the most-hated person, having coffee in the campfire etc. And yeah, girls..we won the theater competition in our History class while in form 2! ;)

Prom-night Queens

Cheer- leaders!

As much as we miss the moments, time and tide waits for no one.
One by one of our buddies falls in love and gets married.
At least, it is not the puppy love we ever talked and laughed at during high school.
But i am sorry to hear that some relationships are not working well.
I am sorry to know that some ends a single mother at a very young age.
But remember - the baby you cuddle in your arms can call me "Mommy" too! :)
The kids we have or gonna have would have a different sets of Moms to love and protect them.

Be positive.
Don't raise the white flag yet.

Love, Cry and Vain

2010-12-17T08:47:00.000-08:00

Readers,
I'm back after a very long silence. Sorry for not giving much attention to this blog for i was pretty much occupied with work and study. Guess what, i successfully passed my VIVA (oral defense for Master degree) at USM yesterday and this means another convo celebration coming next year in March 2011. Thank you to Dr Agnes Liau for her kind guidance and supervision; you are the best mentor and mother :)
Here are some updates for the past few months:

September :
- I was so stress and completely worn out after the hari raya break. I started gathering all my strength to finish my last three chapters of my dissertation to be submitted to my supervisor. The process of writing up the thesis was tough; i sacrifice a lot of time, money and energy to produce a great piece of work. The many drafts * A4 papers handed equals to 100 trees.LOL.
- Students are busy with midterm tests. I used my invigilation time in class to revise theories and significant topics related to my thesis. I stayed late till 11pm at office to finish marking the test papers.

October
-I couldn't remember anything important in October except having class parties with my engineering students. It was fun !! I recorded myself playing piano - 'Love Story" and 'Still Water' for them. I received overwhelming support from my students ;)

November
- Mom's birthday on the 5th; so we had a small gathering with the family at A& Z Restaurant. It was my treat, we had Ikan Bakar, Tomyam, Kailan ikan masin, kerang bakar, kuewtiaw kungfu and sup ekor. Yummy... :)
-Back to campus and having some trouble with collegues regarding the exam analysis but we managed to handle things at last.
-Another stressful month for me for i have to mark 100++ exam scripts and get my thesis done to be submitted on the 25th Nov. I quarantine myself in the room, so i could focus more!
-It was Dad's birthday on the 26th, we didn't really get together for a celebration since Mom got warded to the hospital. I decided to buy Dad a gift he would never forget - I bought him a mobile phone for his birthday which worths RM900+++. I could see the joy in his eyes, but too bad i couldn't afford him a Blackberry.
- I managed to play Pachabel's Canon in ID smoothly! ;)

December
It's a month full of weddings!!!
4th dec - Nani's
18th dec- my cousin's
25th dec- Puteri's
The many-way-backs from Penang to KK are energy and time-consuming. Oh no.. i couldn't watch Teater Natrah for it clashes with my friend's wedding. A lot of plans need to be cancelled to respect other people's needs.
Well, it is still the middle of December and there's nothing much to say except attending people's weddings and kenduri. Really hate it when ppl keep questioning me when is my own wedding day.. as if they're gonna support my expenses of the ceremony ke?

Will be driving back to KK tomorrow; i took a whole week leave. Wishing to get a gud response from parents regarding the situation i told them. It's not really a gud month to argue with your parents, so, i cross my fingers waiting for their decision.

The past four months are painted with love, cry and vain. Thank you Allah for i am still breathing.

xxPeace!xx.

Thank you, dear!

2010-10-31T05:52:00.000-07:00

No news from Mr X and his girl.

Life is getting back to normal once again, except the pain and headache i have to bear for completing my thesis.

And my thought completely goes to you during these tense and difficult times.

For all the support & encouragement, for all the kindness and comfort words.

Thank you, dear!

I love you.

*Hugs and kisses.

Get Lost, dummy.

2010-10-25T08:54:00.000-07:00

Dear Mr X,
I've got a stupid message from your girl. It was really annoying. I am not that type who steals away someone else's fiancee, you fool!
Can't you see that I am already occupied with all sorts of stuffs/commitments, rather than messing up my mind with you?
I dont need you, dummy.
I repeat -
Dont bother to keep in touch.
I am seriously not interested.

Goodbye.

The Most Tasteless Film

2010-10-17T00:59:00.000-07:00

ALthough there have been a great comments and criticism upon the film 'Lagenda Budak Setan' - LBS adapted from the novel Ahadiat Akasyah (my friend's most hated author), i nver jumped into a conclusion until i myself watch it to evaluate the issues the author presented. NOw, despite the wonderful comments from others, i hereby say that this is the most tasteless film i ever watched! Here are some of the reasons:

1. The story and the plot is illogical. I can understand stories like Harry Potter and LOTR are claimed to be illogical too, but these films fall under fiction and fantasy, while LBS is not. BEsides, the setting takes place in a university; the university students portrayed in the movie represent second class mentality in which it is okay to make fun of the professors/lecturers and it is acceptable to intimidating other students at the university cafe.

2. Lecturers are academicians in which their job is to teach and deliver ideas during the lesson. A rational professor won't be affected emotionally by a small love letter left between the pages of the textbook. In LBS,the lecturer cancels the class immediately due to the prank joke applied by Kasyah and friends.

3.The theme of love is centralized as the main issue. Love at first sight plunging Kasyah and he cant stop thinking about Ayu, though he initially puts a lizard in the drink can (which he doesnt know belongs to Ayu) and he later on repents from any misdeeds to tackle Ayu. I view this as something ridiculous because the drastic change of Akasyah doesnt make sense to me since Ayu is a stranger. Akasyah's main motive to change is not because he honestly regrets his bad attitude toward others, it's rather the lust he feels about Ayu. Ayu in the movie is described as pretty; the question arises is, would Kasyah comes to her rescue if the girls he puts the prank on is ugly?

5. The lecturer's job to punish Kasyah by asking him 2 do hundreds of sits up is again nonsensical. We, lecturers have a lot of other jobs to care about applying corporal punishment to such students.

6. Having a "dana" to continue a big project would be impossible for a trouble maker like Kasyah. In a university rule, a student who involved with disciplinary problems (especially the serious ones) would be dismissed or be taken any privileges. Kasyah is called "Budak Setan" since he has involved in many kinds of illegal actions and been called to the disciplinary units.

7. The plastic surgery thingy was really funny! LOL. An accident like that would have made the victims died on the spot.

8. 'Hilang ingatan' and being transferred to remote places are the only ways for the author to make things complicated in Malay stories. Isn't there any other alternatives?

9. This movie lacks Islamic values. Love is the only thing that matters to both Kasyah and Ayu. Love drives people mad. Love leads to jealousy. Love takes away rationality. What about love to God and Rasul?

10. People cry due to its sentimental love story. But people are you sure it is because of the story or the music soundtrack? I think the music soundtrack really plays a vital role to affect audience's emotion, not the story itself.

Malay authors and Malay movies should consider the moral parts and the Islamic values injected in the films to make sure what is presented can influence teenagers' way of thinking to behave in an Islamic way. LBS is only a fantasy of a school girl to have a nice boyfriend like Kasyah who will love her till the end of time. Well, girl.. trust me.. it won't happen that easy in real life.LOL.

Wrong Twist

2010-10-11T20:36:00.000-07:00

Life is quite hectic now. i'm waiting for 25nov, then i'll be free.
Yea..
a few days to go.

You & Me

2010-10-05T07:41:00.000-07:00

Dedicated to Cheng Jun who had always been a part of me..

First love has always been the first part of my heart.

But you, my love...gonna take the rest.

~Shakespeare.

In life, every chapter which unfolds describes a story. A story that reveals your secret, your past and your upcoming events. In each chapter, some characters are just trespassers or sometimes they remain till the end of the story but disappear overtime. It is at these times when you'll have to flip over your life novel to learn something from your experience.

Unfortunately, i have always been the minor character in your life. But i realize it affects the ending of your story.

A blastful, happy ending.

-THE END-

The Male Species?

2010-09-22T06:02:00.000-07:00

As what has my girl buddy remarked,

It's useless to keep reminding the male species about the inner beauty because it's the outer beauty that seems to shine and captures the man's heart.

LOL.
Typical man.
What a bullshit.

Lonely + Bored = Mentally Unhealthy

2010-08-20T07:53:00.000-07:00

Oh no..this feeling is back. Hate to say that i am mentally unhealthy now since i easily feel bored with my routine activities, get instantly depressed when things go to the wrong direction and at loss when words are dry while i started writing my thesis.My friends suggested me to start dating again, whoa..if it's really gonna work. (Life between college and workplace r different, ok?)

So, i fill up my leisure time collecting music sheets and start practicing my piano lesson. * I hope the neighbours dont mind listening to the awful sound.LOL. Meanwhile, i am mad at a few ppl who seem to annoy me with their immatured attitude; but thats okay since it is ramadhan and patience is part of Iman.

Right now, i'm thinking that what my friends say could be right. So, anyone wanna go out? :p

...........................................

...........................

................

.......

....

Uhuh, i guess nobody is interested.

Waiting for my own Convo

2010-08-06T03:00:00.000-07:00

It's USM Convocation today.
Not mine, but my collegues'. It feels like ages to make it true.. ahh, it's 3months left to complete the M.A dissertation. I keep telling myself 'your time will come', but then, I progress very slow and i know i'm gettin jiggy older than anyone else except the grey hair is reluctant to grow.
I miss home.
Home.. do you miss me? :p

Eclipse Tore me down

2010-07-28T08:40:00.001-07:00

Hey readers, i'm back.
I finally completed my mission to watch the Twilight saga series, Eclipse three hours ago due to the enthralling comments made by my collegues and students. So, i expected it to be better with more thrilling actions and battles since the Twilight and New Moon have always been my favourite, but i was wrong just to find out that the new release is damn dull and boring. And of course, Edward Cullen- as always, catch the girl's eyes/attention since he is handsome and protective despite his conventional qualities in courting a girl. I do not know why Edward character doesn't attract me much recently since i feel Bella doesnt make a right choice of accepting his proposal, since her willingness to be a vampire is based on the teenage infatuation and irrational judgment she has, thus, Jacob is probably right that a human should remain one.

Overall, i guess Ecplise is a just a normal romantic story for high school girls. Couples fall in love, having fights, seeking for reconciliation and is brought back together at last. It also centralizes the idea that guys are supposed to be gentleman and girls will always depend on them for protection. As if it's a tradition of a romantic movie, love-triangle occurs in the middle and friendship becomes a great challenge. The girls who love mysterious, determined and protective man will definitely choose Edward while those who are into mutual friendship, encouragement and support will end up falling for the strong-build Jacob. I do love Edward's qualities but if I were Bella, I would rather choose Jacob for an everlasting relationship.LOL. Girls might need love and attention, but poor understanding can lead to communication breakdown.

However, if people ever asked about my favourite character, it would always be.....

Dr Carlise Cullen - the Father of Vampire. I think he has the best characteristic among all -intelligent, very charismatic, gorgeous and cool (so girls, what else do you want? Edward is just a young man in love and Jacob plays with his emotion frequently)

Well, thanks to Stephanie Meyer for introducing me to this world of Vampires and Werewolves. But in our Malay culture, nobody seems to be interested in Vampires since Pontianak is always perceived as a long-haired woman who loves to mengilai histerically in villages to scare people. LOL.

Happy Birthday, Snow White!

2010-07-19T05:27:00.000-07:00

I know its kinda funny to wait for the midnight, but it always makes me nervous to see who is the first person that's gonna wish me birthday. I realize that as you grow older, you dont really seem to remember your friends' birthdate.LOL. I myself only rely on their Facebook profile or sometimes i dont even bother to check their information in details since i need to catch up with many challenging tasks that require me to use most parts of the brain (mayb that explains why i tend to forget and misplace many things).

Well, i knw that this blog has been neglected for quite awhile. I've been off to the shore for quite long, sorry readers to make you waiting. Nazrin, hope u'll remain one of the devotees.hehe.

I wanna wish myself Happy birthday.
:)
May god bless you, big girl.

Love is Love

2010-07-01T01:46:00.000-07:00

(To him who once failed to love and be loved)

If i fall in love, it will be forever or i'll never fall in love.

If i give my heart, i give it completely or i'll never give my heart.

But love is love

that plays its game through time.

If you dont accept my very worse,

you don't deserve my very best.

You are part of me,

But love says that it is not for eternity.

How Ironic Beauty Is

2010-06-22T23:12:00.000-07:00

A long time ago, if there are three things i hate most while dressing up to town, they would be:

Make-up, high-heels and handbags.

I would prefer to wear sandals, put on sports wear, give away lipstick since i dislike the smell (thanks to my natural pinky red lips) and drag along my backpack to travel. It is more convenient and easy and u dont have to complain about the pain u have to bear for wearing heels. And I savour to take public transports like buses, trains and LRT while studying in college than having a ride in someone's Mercedes Benz.

However, most women regarded these three precious things as mandatory and some couldn't live without them and i have friends who buy piles of new-branded high heels every month or purchased all kinds of colorful handbags to match with the suits. It is funny that although it is risky to carry handbags nowadays since you are prone 2invite snatch thefts to come over, wearing high heels for another reason could affect your backbones in the future and the fact that cosmetics may damage the skin cells, I consider our women as risk-takers for dangling handbags freely to shopping malls, enduring foot pain just to stand tall and confident, and putting on heavy make-up to look fashionably gorgeous.

If I were born a boy, i could have given up these three things easily and groom myself as a handsome gentleman, even without any cosmetics, heels or handbags.I would be a cool and funky guy, with spiky hairstyle whom many girls are running after for.

Unfortunately, I am just a woman with pride that apply these three things (though i hate them and dont use much) to look sweet and attractive.

Although inner beauty is important, I guess cosmetic beauty really counts to look best. LOL.

Greetings from India

2010-06-08T02:36:00.000-07:00

Hello folks,
Thank u for the supportive comments in the previous post. I am now staying at my sister's crib at Manipal, India. The journey was extraordinary tiring; yet there'll be more to see after spending 3days in Mangalore.
Btw,I am attracted to this song by Shane Filan (the music adapts the Canon Rock if u notice)

BEAUTIFUL IN WHITE

Not sure if you know this
But when we first met
I got so nervous
I couldn’t speak
In that very moment I found the one and
My life had found its missing piece
(*)So as long as I live I love you
Will heaven hold you
You look so beautiful in white
And from now to my very last breath
This day I’ll cherish
You look so beautiful in whiteTonight
What we have is timeless
My love is endless
And with this scream I
Say to the world
You’re my every reason you’re all that I believe in
With all my heart I mean every world
[ Repeat (*) ]

You look so beautiful in white
So beautiful in white tonight
And if our daughter’s what our future holds
I hope she has your eyes
Finds love like you and I did
Yeah, I wish she falls in love and I will let her go
I’ll walk her down the aisle
She’ll look so beautiful in white
You look so beautiful in white
[ Repeat (*) ]
You look so beautiful in white.

Visit this video for the slideshow: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6kD-LTCShg
But i hope Snow White will look beautiful in white somehow =)

p/s I'm flying to Agra this friday and right now, should have been looking for any Bollywood shooting 2fill my leisure time :p

A Good Friend is Hard to Find

2010-06-04T03:41:00.000-07:00

For Allah knows the secrets of heaven and earth,
and He knows what you reveal and what you conceal. (Holy Quran, AL-imran:29)

In the name of Allah, the Most Gracious and the Most Merciful. Peace be upon our messenger Prophet Muhammad SAW.

While i am writing this entry, i am in a very deep sorrow where there is no one to trust and no one to turn to. I feel so small and alone, like a dot on a piece of white paper. Like a nightingale which has just lost one wing. Dear God, why do in this world the power of evil surpasses the good? Why do in this world envy drives a person to slander others? If only they comprehend Chapter 49 in the Quran and learn to practice the proper Islamic teaching, the world will be in peace. But unfortunately, we can only preach and it depends on the individual to follow the right path.

Well, i am not perfect and in fact nobody is. But I dont want to be a Munafiq (hypocrite) who betrays/tells a lie/ insult others but it eaten me up when somebody tries to corrupt my image and reputation. And worse of all, that person is being judgemental without knowing me well. And when the person that we thought is our friend turns to be an enemy, now that i realize the truth of Prophet Muhammad's saying:

"A good friend and a bad friend are like a perfume-seller and a blacksmith: The perfume-seller might give you some perfume as a gift, or you might buy some from him, or at least you might smell its fragrance. As for the blacksmith, he might singe your clothes, and at the very least you will breathe in the fumes of the furnace."

Whenever I am down, i will analyse my mistakes and look for improvement. I remind myself it is only a test from God.

Thanks Allah for making me aware of being a true Muslim. I am blessed. As quoted from the Quran again, "Allah knows what you hide and what you reveal and He knows the recompense which you earn by your deeds."

Kerana RM1

2010-06-02T05:11:00.000-07:00

(Edisi Ke-2)

Sudah saban hari aku sibuk dengan tugas-tugas di pejabat. Masa yang diluangkan utk diri sendiri juga semakin terhad. Alangkah indahnya hidup ini jika masa yg bergerak berhenti buat seketika, sudah tentu aku dapat menggunakan peluang sepenuhnya utk melakukan aktiviti kegemaranku seperti menonton televisyen, bermain piano, berkunjung ke kedai buku, memasak dan membantu ibu bapa di rumah. Aku juga mula merindui rakan-rakan seperjuangan semasa di universiti dan kami hanya dapat berhubung melalui Facebook atau meninggalkan khidmat pesanan ringkas sahaja memandangkan semuanya sibuk dgn kerjaya masing-masing. Aku ada juga mendengar khabar sesetengah rakan yang sudah mendirikan rumah tangga dan ada juga yg sudah menimang cahaya mata pertama. Alhamdulillah, sungguh murah rezeki kalian. Semoga hidup anda semua makin diberkati oleh Allah Swt.

Sebenarnya aku ingin berkongsi satu cerita. Baru-baru ini, semasa aku melangkah keluar dari kereta dan berjalan menuju ke apartmentku, seorang kanak-kanak lelaki yang kecil memintasku. Aku menoleh dan memandangnya. Lantas dia berhenti dan terus bersandar di tepi pintu apartmentku. Matanya yang bulat terkebil-kebil manakala rambutnya yang nipis beralun lembut ditiup angin. Sungguh comel budak ini, hati kecilku berbisik.Aku tersenyum ke arahnya. Perlahan-lahan dia berkata kepadaku, "Kak...nak duit seringgit." Aku terdiam sejenak. Peminta sedekah kah budak ini? Hati kecilku tertanya-tanya. "Nak duit seringgit, buat apa dik?" Aku cuba menyiasat lebih lanjut.
"Nak beli aiskrim." jawabnya ringkas.

Aku meraba-raba dompet di dalam beg. Ingin kuberi rm1 tetapi hatiku terasa berat. "Adik tinggal kat mana?" tanyaku lagi. "Blok C." jawabnya sambil memandangku dengan gaya penuh mengharap. Aku masih berfikir-fikir dan mula bertanya diri sendiri. Mengapa minta duit pada org tak kenal? Mana mak dan ayah adik? Mengapa sungguh berani meminta-minta. Takde rasa malu? Kalau meminta pada orang jahat dan diculik, bagaimana? Sungguh banyak persoalan di benakku yang ingin aku lontarkan kepadanya tetapi aku tidak mampu. Perasaan belas kasihan yang tinggi lebih menguasai fikiranku. Aku menghulurkan rm1 kepadanya dan jelas die tampak gembira. Digenggamnya duit kertas bernilai seringgit di telapak tangannya yang kecil lalu berjalan ke arah kedai runcit di seberang apartment.

Aku lantas membuka pintu apartment dan melihat rakan serumahku sedang menonton televisyen. "AKak, ade budak minta duit seringgit kat luar tadi." aku memberitahunya. Rakanku tidak berganjak dari sofa dan matanya masih melekat di kaca televisyen. "Budak tu comel,kan?" dia bertanya dan menoleh melihatku. Aku menggangguk2. "Alah, tadi akak pun jumpa dia. Dia mintak duit. Ada ke patut suka hati mintak duit." katanya lagi. "Akak bagi ke?" tanyaku. Dia menggeleng dan berkata, "Takda pasal nak bagi. Akak cakap kat dia, akak takda duit! Pergi balik. Bukannya dia takde mak bapak. Minta la kat mak bapak sendiri."

Aku terdiam.
Salahkah aku memberinya duit?
Salahkah aku tidak menyelidik latarbelakang budak itu dengan betul sebelum membuat keputusan itu tadi?
Ya Allah, mungkin ibu bapa budak itu melarang budak itu membeli aiskrim dan aku telah memberikanya rm1 untuk membeli benda yang dilarang.
Dan mungkin budak itu juga tidak tahu apa yang dilakukan tadi salah dan dalam masa yang sama, aku telah mengajarnya meminta2 kepada orang yg tidak dikenali. Dan mungkin juga dia akan mengulangi kesalahannya lagi.

Oh, Tuhan.. walau apa pun alasan budak itu, kau lindungikan wajah comelnya daripada kejahatan manusia dan kerosakan akhlak. Sungguh malang ibu bapanya jika dia tidak diasuh dengan jln yang betul.

Semoga Tuhan merahmati.

ChiLL Up! =)

2010-05-21T09:15:00.000-07:00

I am still on the Kursus Asas Pengajaran course till tomorrow and it's worth to spend the 4day-talk with the amazing, inspiring speakers who had given their very best to transmit new ideas and encourage us, the new lecturers to enrich our teaching skills and techniques while teaching the students in the classroom. If i were to give a suggestion, i would say this course should be held from the first week of the particular new lecturer's day in the university. This would have helped them to be more conscious about the students' learning abilities from the very beginning despite the complaints that the failure rate in certain science subjects are rising every semester.

Throughout the course, i also learn a lot of things such as classroom management, students' learning styles, teaching pedagogy, adult education, brains knowledge and many more. Although the program was super duper fantastic, i still found myself trying very hard to keep my eyes feel awake for every session.LOL. Poor me, since school till now, i honestly say that i can't stand long lectures; my attention limit for any lecture is the first 30 mins and i usually ended up daydreaming or kicking my feet on the floor or checking the watch. hehe. Maybe my learning style is unique on its own way and if you happen to be my students, that is also the reason why i use activities more than the textbook :p

WEll, i'm sorry readers for the short long overdue updates. I promise i'll write more next time when i come back to Malaysia. And there's an interesting quotation from one of the speakers that i wanna share with you, which is:

.........
Life is a mystery. Do not try to solve it.

Plans for this Month

2010-05-09T21:18:00.000-07:00

Hope i won't sound like a sissy to complain again about the weather. But trust me, it's getting hotter day by day in Malaysia, particularly in Penang. What is worse, for those who never know; my skin is allergic to the weather. Guess it was getting obvious when pink rashes seem to turn up all over my skin due to the drastic change of temperature. It looks really ugly but thank god it fades slowly when i sit near the fan or run into an airconditioned room.

Last night, i was invited to attend a Pre-graduation dinner for Part 6 Chemical Engineering students with my housemates at Hotel Seri Malaysia, Kepala Batas. They were practically not my students but since my housemate is teaching them this semester, I was asked to tag along. The food is okay but i didnt manage to try all since i started to get stomach ache even before the dinner. The event started with a speech by the program director, followed by a band performance + karaoke session. We also had Lucky Draw in between, and among all lecturers who occupied my table, only me were not so really lucky (since their numbers were all being called to get the gifts/hampers except mine). However i enjoyed taking photos of my food and the outstanding students' performance.

Everyday seems to be fully packed this week with all the gathering and courses i need to attend. What is interesting lately, there will be a family day for Pewani at Agro Sedim, Kedah this 15th may but i gotta cancel my participation since my Mom asked me to accompany her to KL due to her medical appointment. And i'm going to have a teaching course next week, and another course in UiTM Dungun the other week.And the following week after the other week will be my visit to Manipal, India....(and thinking of all the plans, i dont knw when i'm gonna start writing my thesis again!)

Now i'm craving for the Japanese/Korean food my officemate mentioned last week. Tomorrow insyaallah will be a trip to Korean food at Seoul Garden with my collegues! (",)

p/s Happy Mother's Day to all Moms all over the world. No matter where i travel to, i carry your dreams.

How Strange!

2010-05-03T00:32:00.001-07:00

Funny that i received an sms from a long distance friend who was suprised to read my previous entry when it was written in Malay. A bit peculiar too when this friend (also a Malay) thought i was out of my mind pouting for attention due to some personal issues. This is totally perplexing. Why on earth am i being questioned that way? Let me explain again why i wrote in Malay for those who seem so curious about the drastic change in my blogging entry last time!

Dear all, I wrote in Malay because I am proud to be one. I consider myself as very Malay - I eat Malay food daily (though i eat pizzas and sushi), wear baju kurung to work everyday (though i love cheong-sam and sari), practice Malay culture (though video games overshadowed guli and gasing) and I strongly criticize Malays who fail their mother tongue and neglect their tradition (go get a Malay tutor or register for tuition class, people!). Thus, is it a big sin if I for that matter trying to write in Malay because I am longing for its beautiful courtesy and language??

And unfortunately, some thought I'm gonna change my blog to a fully Malay version very soon. And some provoked that I was sulking by someone, affected emotionally and wrote everything in Malay to express my frustration. Dear these so-called people, for God's sake, I'm gonna maintain my blog in English since i have my other international friends and bloggers who are following my blog frequently. And didn't you notice the word 'Edisi Terhad' (Limited Edition) on the previous title which obviously signifies the most special edition among other entries- that it's gonna be different and unique on its own way? Mark my word for that.

And i wonder how strange some Malays are. How weird that adopting Western lifestyle transforms your thoughts too as orang putih. I thought giving others support in uplifting the Malay language could be a noble stance.

Guess that I was wrong.
I really was.

Bahasa Jiwa Bangsa

2010-04-29T23:03:00.000-07:00

(Edisi Terhad)

Sudah 5 hari peperiksaan akhir Bahasa Inggeris untuk pelajar2 semester 1 berakhir. Dan sudah 5 hari jugalah aku sibuk memeriksa kertas peperiksaan Bahasa Inggeris pelajar2ku. Semester ini, bilangan pelajar dalam satu kelas agak ramai iaitu sebanyak 40 orang satu kelas. Disebabkan aku mengajar 2 kelas yang budaknya 40 orang, dan satu kelas 17 orang.. terpaksalah aku menanda dalam 97 skrip jawapan. Dan dalam 97 skrip jawapan yang ditanda, dalam separuh skrip yang eseinya aku conteng dgn pen merah besar-besar gara2 pelajar yang tidak mengikuti cara penulisan esei yang betul. Tidak termasuk lagi yang keluar tajuk dan menulis benda yang merapu2 dan mengarut2...Ha3. Alhamdulillah, segalanya berjalan lancar dan berakhir sudah tugas pengajaranku semester ini. Cuma perlu memasukkan markah dan gred secara online dan mengemaskini port-folio pengajaran.

Mungkin ada antara pembaca blog yang tertanya2 mengapa aku menulis dalam Bahasa Melayu dalam entri kali ini. Sebenarnya, sudah lama aku berhasrat menulis menggunakan bahasa ibunda sendiri tetapi tidak berkesempatan. Maklumlah, jadual harianku sejak bekerja memerlukan aku berkomunikasi dan menulis dalam Bahasa Inggeris, jadi pengaruh utk menulis dalam bahasa penjajah ini lebih tinggi daripada menggunakan bahasa pertuturan sendiri. Semasa mengajar di dalam kelas, rasanya amat jarang aku bertutur dlm bahasa Melayu. Kalau tidak silap, memang aku tidak bercakap dlm bahasa Melayu langsung ketika berada di dalam kelas. Sekiranya telefon bimbit berbunyi ketika mengajar, aku tetap berbual dengan si pemanggil dalam Bahasa Inggeris. Kebanyakan yang menelefon pula adalah rakan-rakan dari jabatanku, jadi tidak hairan lah jika aku tidak menggunakan Bahasa Melayu. Ada sekali ibuku dari Perak menelefonku di dalam kelas dan apabila aku mula berbual dlm Bahasa Melayu, pelajar2ku tersenyum2 memasang telinga memberi perhatian. Mungkin ia sesuatu yang pelik untuk mereka agaknya. Dan ada antaranya yang memberi komen seperti, "Miss, this is our first time to listen to you speaking in Malay." dan juga "Miss, you sound like a Mat Salleh speaking Malay. It sounds so different." Dan yang paling buat aku ketawa besar, ada juga yang menyangka aku berdarah campuran (Tidak mengapalah..tetapi yang pasti, aku mmg ada keturunan Arab dan Bugis).

Secara jujur, aku memang bangga bertutur dan menulis dalam bahasa ibundaku. Semasa di sekolah, aku sering mendapat markah paling tinggi dalam subjek BM kerana minatku yang mendalam dalam menulis dan membaca novel dan majalah BM. Ibu bapaku juga guru Bahasa Melayu. Di sekolah, mereka sering melanggan dan membawa pulang majalah Dewan Pelajar, Dewan Siswa dan Dewan Masyarakat untuk bacaan di rumah. Kami juga melanggan Utusan Malaysia (dan sekarang kami bertukar ke Berita Harian) dan juga majalah popular Mastika. Dari kecil, aku mengasah perbendaharaan kata melalui pembacaan akhbar, majalah, buku akademik dan novel. Namun, tiada siapa pula yang melanggan Readers Digest, The Sun, The New Straits Times dan novel Bahasa Inggeris ketika aku kecil. Tiada siapa juga di rumah yang betul2 bertutur Bahasa Inggeris denganku sewaktu aku di sekolah rendah. Aku masih ingat, aku gemar meminjam buku Bahasa Inggeris dari perpustakaan sekolah sejak darjah 5 kerana cikgu memilihku untuk menyertai Projek Nilam. Waktu zaman persekolahanku, terdapat pelbagai projek yang menginginkan pelajar sekolah rendah mengambil bahagian dan aku adalah antara yang suka menyertainya =)

Semasa darjah 5, cikgu ada bertanyakanku apakah cita-citaku. Aku memberitahunya, "Saya nak jadi cikgu. Sebab nak berbakti kepada masyarakat." kataku tanpa berfikir panjang. "Kamu nak jadi cikgu apa?"Cikgu bertanya lagi. Aku menjawab, "Saya nak jadi cikgu kat universiti. Nak mengajar Bahasa Inggeris. " kataku lagi. Cikgu aku menggangguk dan berkata, "Oh, kalau begitu, kamu nak jadi pensyarah Bahasa Inggeris la." "Ye, cikgu." Aku menjawab.

Dan kini, apabila matapelajaran Sains dan Matematik diajar dlm Bahasa Inggeris, ramai yang tidak setuju dengan cadangan ini dan ramai juga yang menyokong. Bagiku, aku lebih suka belajar Sains dan Matematik dalam Bahasa ibundaku walaupun aku mengajar bahasa Inggeris kerana aku percaya ramai pelajar Melayu yang berpotensi untuk berjaya walaupun menggunakan Bahasa Melayu sendiri. Ibuku yang berkerja di sekolah cina selalu mengatakan bahawa, pencapaian pelajar cina tinggi kerana mereka mengikuti tuisyen sains dan matematik menggunakan bahasa ibunda mereka sndiri iaitu bahasa cina.

Walau apa pun pendapat orang ramai, aku percaya semuanya bermula dari usaha kita sendiri. Tidak perlu memberikan apa2 alasan jika kita ingin berjaya. bagiku, setiap orang punyai potensi sendiri untuk berjaya dan jika kita lemah dalam sesuatu bidang, perlulah kita berusaha dengan pelbagai alternatif untuk berjaya.

Aku sayangkan Bahasa Melayu. Tiada siapa yang boleh menaikkan martabat bahasa kita jika bukan kita sendiri =)

Sekian.

Puteri Salju xxx.

Happy Teacher's Day!

2010-04-28T00:47:00.000-07:00

"Engineers deal with machines. But teachers deal with human beings with 1001 attitudes everyday"

Anyone who becomes a teacher would deeply comprehend this statement. Those who are now working in a primary school would know the hassle of handling bunch of small children with their own intractable, immovable manners.. (Not to mention kids who pee in class/leave the shits in the toilet bowls or pulling each others' hair) And no matter how cute a child is, he/she might be a monster to others. Thus, this could be the reason why i avoided teaching in a primary school. LOL. And those who are teaching in a secondary school on the other hand would encounter more disciplinary problems that covers the issues of drugs, smoking, bullying and etc. And among those people are absolutely my parents who have been spending more than 30years as secondary school teachers. Dear Mom and Dad, now i know why you were so strict to us during our school years.

Now, it seems that i'm following my parents' path but i'm not teaching in a school. Despite the difference, the burden is the same because i believe lectures/teachers are both educators that not only teach but deliver virtous message, which help students to adapt moral values. But to tell you the truth, my secondary school years were not a really pleasant one. And of course if you asked me whether i miss school or not, i would say.. yes, but i mean the friends and the fun, not the teachers.LOL. *bad student (i hope my ex-teachers in secondary school are not reading my blog.haha) But of course there are some teachers that i enjoyed having classes with, such as my Bahasa Melayu, Sejarah and Pendidikan Islam teachers. I admitted that my low performance in Pure science subjects while in Form 4 and 5 was because of the feeling of hatred and annoyed to some teachers who loved to preach, rather than teaching. And there were some who favoured brilliant students and neglect the weaker ones who needed more attention. I wish i could talk more about it but there are cases which i think is not so appropriate to be discussed here due to saving the face of certain people, so i leave to my readers to ponder themselves about it. And starting from that day, i told myself to try my best to give equal attention to every student, help the weaker ones with whatever i can and practice what i preach to ensure my students becoming comprehensive individuals.

Actually, i wanna share a part of poem written by Usman Awang entitled Guru Oh Guru (1979) given by my Dad which inspires me most in this teaching field.

GURU OH GURU

Berburu ke Padang Datar

dapat rusa belang kaki

berguru kepalang ajar

ibarat bunga kembang tak jadi

Jika hari ini

Seorang perdana menteri berkuasa

Jika hari ini

Seorang raja menaiki takhta

Jika hari ini

Seorang Ulama' yang mulia

Jika hari ini

Seorang peguam menang bicara

Jika hari ini

Seorang penulis terkemuka

Jika hari ini

Siapa sahaja menjadi dewasa

Sejarahnya dimulakan oleh seorang guru biasa

dengan lembut sabarnya

mengajar tulis baca .

To all teachers in the world, you are one of the kind. May you gain inspiration each day while teaching your students. My deepest thank you to my kindergarten teachers who had been so much help in educating a young stubborn child like me and others who shower me love and comforts while learning in schools. Thank you very2X much! xxx

Updates for my Loyal Readers!

2010-04-23T21:31:00.001-07:00

After about one month and 2weeks of a great hibernation, i feel it is a "NEED" for me to update this blog due to some requests from my regular customers/visitors. Haha. I never knew i had a bunch of fans, thank you very much for supporting my blog, particularly my writing though sometimes it is a bit crappy and dragging out of topics. In my last post, i bragged about the activity i had with my culinary students when everyone was asked to compare the American and British vocabulary, discuss the British culture and brainstorm the ideas about "Life in Britain" before they send me the email about their personal opinions. However, i noticed the response and comments from the readers are very low and i conclude that others are more interested to read about my personal life, rather than my teaching activity. Ha3.. Dear loyal audience, do verify my statement.

Last two days, i posted something that sounds controversy on my facebook which is- People are more impressed when someone says "Hi everyone! I play music, write poetry and speak three languages" than "Hi, I play video games and learn Maths and physics." My aim to post this on my wall is to emphasize the importance of learning art to instill creativity since it relates to special abilities and skills. Howver, it makes my sis Syamimi feels not-so-comfortable on her seat when she responded by claiming that Literature people are prone to bipolar disorder! <--how intimidating this statement is. Then, we ended up a virtual war till each other is tired of fighting for further arguments. For those who are not aware, bipolar disorder is known as manic depression causes serious mood changes and hypertension that leads to suicide. Thus, i assume this explains why some writers like Virginia Woolf and others who i cant remember the names (blame me for my short-term memory) died in a very interesting way - tying a huge rock on the hips to go deep into the river, jumping down from the high building etc. ALthough it is recorded that musicians, poets, writers and artists contributed to this symptoms a lot, i believe these people are those who diverted from the path of God, the ones who did not know how to handle stress and choose to end their lives by committing suicide. My objective is for a scientist to take Ibn Sina as an idol, a medical doctor whose name is famous in the Islamic civilization but writes a lot of literary work that contributes to the Prophetic sirah. And of course Islam encourages the believers to promote wasatiah/balanced life, to practice science but art together because this blends a comprehensive individual. And trust me, this is how the Jews work, and no wonder why they conquer the science and technology, control the global finance, dominate the world news and monopolize the art and films.

Well, enough story about that.Actually, i wanna share about the gathering i had with my part 6 students last night at Anjung Cafe.I cant believe that they are going to graduate this sem (They were my 1st batch in my teaching career, so u can imagine how old i feel!) And this is my main reason why i update this blog today.hehe. But since i babbled a lot about the Facebook war, it would be better to make this simple and sweet. So, I wanna say a huge "thank you's" to my beloved Electrical engineering students (40 boys+3 girls) for organizing such an unforgettable gathering. It was really honoured to be one of the VIPs, the food was irresistable and the karaoke session was really2x fun! Howver, I know that every beginning must have an end. I enjoyed every single moment to be your part 1 BEL lecturer in dungun (but same as me, we transfered to Penang in the following sem) and thank you for inviting me, my dear students for your so-called graduation night since this is your last semester. I know you guys remain in my heart forever, and thank you for considering me as part of the CLUB! Photos to be uploaded are on the way soon :)

It's lunch hour now, i gotta go to cook. I misssss.......my own fried mee. Drop me a call if u wanna order.haha.

At last, i was able to upload my own fried mee photo. Believe me, it tasted great despite the dull presentation due to the lack of colourful veggies and drops of soy sauce. Guess it's a sign for me to go shopping for groceries this weekend!

Life in Britain

2010-04-07T22:14:00.000-07:00

English tea and biscuits

Most of my students are really interested in the British life though many spend most of their time watching movies directed by the Americans. However, i was surprised that there are those who find British life as fascinating and some indulge themselves in the literary works too such as Sherlock Holmes, Oliver Twists and others. In our English class at the language lab 2 this morning (though only half came due to the exam fever), we discussed about the history of English language and the comparison of British and American vocabulary as an initiative to understand the British culture. As a follow-up activity, I requested them to send me an email responding to this question:

"Which information of the British life In England,Scotland, wales and northen island attracts you most (music, movie, food etc)? Comment."

Response 1

"lady puteri" ladyputeri48@gmail.com

hai there mis,its me,liza,i've got somethin 2 u...RELIGION IN BRITISH..isnt it sound intresting 2?
4 ur info,religion are:
Religion can be explained as a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, especially when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.
it attract me coz their beleif make me wanna hve a big laugh...they know the truth relly is...bit still they wanna pretend...but i wonder 4 wat..dats all from me..bye mis,thbx 4 all ur knowlgde that u hve teach me...its so useful...a im wanna apologive if im making a mistake.bye mis,wish me luck 4 da exam ..pray 4 me..thnx a lot..

Doughnuts

Response 2
From: kamil azizi" car_mail91@yahoo.com
Which information about the British life in England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland attracts you most?
Absolutely I can say football will attract me most. It is because I very like to play and watching football. Especially England football team. It is because the player for England football team is so good. Like an example is David Beckham, Frank Lampard, John Terry, Wayne Rooney and many more. This players is so professional and intelligence. I wonder that maybe I could see, shake hand, and played with all the England football players. Second is, I attract with England country. I wonder to go to England and spent very interesting time there with my special girlfriend (if I have one lah).haha..
I wonder to life in a British life, play with the snow with future girlfriend, go to the clubbing with my crazy friend (haha), watch the football game with my nerd friend, life happily with all my family, and many more..
That is from Muhammad kamil azizi bin jamali.
Thank you for reading or checking this crazy letter.haha

Response 3

"Areef Mahamood" areef222@ymail.com

For my opinion, the most attraction about British life is their movie. Of course my hobby is watching movie so I can see a lot of difference between English and American movie. When I watch British movie I like to pronounce one of the word when the actor or actress talking or say some word that sometimes quite funny when they pronounce that word and sometimes I making fun of it, for example like ‘slimy’, ’bloody’ and something else.
I think American slang corrupt the natural of English and that’s why I like British English more. some British terms are now used in the USA. This is probably due to travel and the wide exchange of TV programmes etc.
That's all for me, thank you.(",)

Areef Mahamood
2009961809
DCA1B1

Snow in England

Response 4

"norawatif mohd yusob"nmy_sakura89@yahoo.com nmy_sakura89@yahoo.com

I like to travel because from the travel i know about cultural and races in other countries.For example,I like sabahan cultures.This is because it have many bumiputra races such as bajau,kadazan dusun, rungus and malay.I like very much sabah. There,I like the food such as chicken wing roast.kuih cincin and kuih amplang. The picture is about simpang mengayau.
I miss it so much.

Response 5

liysa_nicegurl91@yahoo.com.my
Which information about the british life in England,Scotland,wales and northen island attracts you most?
the most thing attract me about British life in England is the weather.This is because,here in Malaysia i cant get this weather.With a low temperature 4 C,and 17 C as the higher temperature there.
England is a country that get four season like autumn,spring,winter and summer.it will be a good thing i be there with this weather.i can play with the snow,looking the fallen leaves,and the grow of beautiful flower.
If i get chance i will go there to feel the experience.
NUR LISA

Spring in Hyde Park

Response 6

From: Wan
I choose England because it attract me the most. Its food attracts me although Britain doesn't have the best of reputations for its food, the people of Britain do in fact enjoy an enormously varied diet. And, although, its cuisine might not be world-renowned it would be a mistake to completely ignore its delights. The british people taking their breakfast which called "Full English Breakfast' such as toasted bread,bacon,eggs and milk.Their breakfast is different from Malaysia people.

English breakfast

Response 7
For me England attracts me most because there have a beautiful countries and very unique. Iam very exciting if I have invite to go there.I also like their foods very much. In addition I have learned about how to cook their food. When I have enough money I will spend all my holiday in this countries with my beloved family immediately. I hope so.Thats all for from farah khalidah bt fesol. TQ and i love you very much..

Response 8
"nur hashikin Mohamad" nurhashikinmohamad@yahoo.com
england attracts me most because their beutiful country,good place n i want visit their country..their country also big n beutiful..i hope i will going in england..i want fell eat,shopping and anything else can i release tention..that all for me..nur hashikin bt mohamad..tq,miss syakirah

Response 9

from: nor faraheen bt abu hasan
group: dc1 b2
I love music and I would memorize the lyrics of the song.
I will also try to understand the lyrics of the song
England attracts me most because their music, buildings,interesting place that i really want to visit and also their foods. i like their creative buildings and its look very beautiful when i see at picture.besides that i want to feel every season at England for example autumn, winter and also snow. their foods i think also very delicious and looks luxurious because i has learn a bit more about their food preparation.

Tea-time

Response 10

"Fatin Norsyazwan" fatinnorsyazwani@yahoo.com
The most thing that attract me is their cinema. They have creative idea to make their story interesting to watch and their imagination in making the story, the technolology they have used make me impress about their job. I also like their winter season because i have never feel how the winter is.....

FATIN NORSYAZWANI BINTI MOHD ARIFFIN
2009343305
DK1B2

Response 11

"Abdul Adzim" abdul_adzim91@yahoo.com
I think I like cinema because like watch the james bond movie,sherlock holmes, bridget jones's and many more movie british that i like. I like to hear they speak it's like i to want to speak like they speak hehehe..
AL'

Response 12

beeha ." honey_beeha91@yahoo.com
dead_candles@yahoo.com
The things that attract me about british life is their holidays and specials occasion. It is because, they have very beutiful place and different in our country. They have alot of historical place that we can visit with family and know about the history. We also know about the country very well.
Tq. - hani nabihah-

London Bridge

Response 13
Nur Aqilah Abd Salam" sheffz03_qila@yahoo.com
About the British life in the UK, in my opinion the thing that attacts me the most is their education. The reason for this is, their government is constantly improving their education system to create a better education environment for students. Also, for me that have had experience studying in a school in England, they use advanced technology for teaching, the kind of technology that can be found in universities here in Malaysia.

from Aqilah

Response 14

"Muhammad Ainnudeen Mohammad Anuar" rdeen_rd2891@yahoo.com
In my opinion, i like the the action of the actors of british drama and movies such as Sherlock Holmes and James Bond 007. This two characters are very famous among the world. From the beginning movies of James Bond, the main actor, Sean Connery becomes an idol to the children since 1964. Then, in this new era of globalization, the new actor of James Bond, Daniel Craig had change the persfective of the character of James Bond.

Ainnudeen

Response 15
"mohd jamaluddin" kimen_024@yahoo.com
in my opinion i like british lifestyle especially in food and bevarage...i love to learn their recipe on bakery and cookies..its so delicious!..yumm3!.

from jamal bdk baik..dk1b2:)

Response 16

"Muhammad Azlan" labu_911031@yahoo.com

I like The Beatles because I hear and sing their song everyday. My favorite song from the band is Yesterday. For the British Comedy , I like Mr. Bean because his jokes is really tickling and makes me laugh. Thank you.

From Azlan(2009725047), DK1B1

Fish and chips

Response 17

"Lyana Lya" lyana115@yahoo.com
British music realy attracts me because their music is interesting and their type of music is the kind that i like and it didn't make me bored although i listen to it many times. i like british band for example like 'keane' , 'muse' and 'coldplay'.

From: Nur Liyana Bt Kamarul Ariffin
Uitm id :2009529293
Group: dk1b

Response 18
"Ameerah Mira" myralava@yahoo.com

England attracts me most because their music, buildings,interesting place that i really want to visit and also their foods. i like their creative buildings and its look very beautiful when i see at picture.besides that i want to feel every season at England for example autumn, winter and also snow. their foods i think also very delicious and looks luxurious because i has learn a bit more about their food preparation.

Traditional English Afternoon Tea

Thank you to all my students for all the responses. I hope you have gained some knowledge on our discussion about English culture today and may all your wishes and dreams come true ;) See you next week for the English drama performance.

Love,
Miss Syakira xxx

IIUM in memory

2010-04-02T09:55:00.000-07:00

International Islamic University of Malaysia (IIUM) is indeed a garden of knowledge and virtue.

We seek for the knowledge, preserve the virtue and graduate as a complete individual - morally, physically and spiritually. In IIUM, we strenghten our brotherhood through multicultural events, international conferences and sport tournaments.

The Holy Quran is always our primary source and light of guidance.

I miss UIA.

I really do.

Students' testimonies: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AeN0dqUvXoE

A Tough Decision One Could Make

2010-03-24T10:17:00.002-07:00

How many of you can really make a genuine decision in life, the one that can benefit everyone and preserve what is legally right. My collegue, Mr Rasaya makes me realize the truth about making a correct decision, though it could be painful to certain extent.

So... Let's see what kind of decision will you make?

Insight into Decision Making

A group of children were playing near two railway tracks, one still in use while the other disused.
Only one child played on the disused track, the rest on the operational track.

The train is coming, and you are just beside the track interchange.
You can make the train change its course to the disused track and save most of the kids.
However, that would also mean the lone child playing by the disused track would be sacrificed.
Or would you rather let the train go its way?

Let's take a pause to think what kind of decision we could make......... ........

Most people might choose to divert the course of the train, and sacrifice only one child.
You might think the same way, I guess.
Exactly, to save most of the children at the expense of only one child was rational decision
most people would make, morally and emotionally.
But, have you ever thought that the child choosing to play on the disused track had in fact
made the right decision to play at a safe place?

Nevertheless, he had to be sacrificed because of his ignorant friends who chose to play where the danger was.

This kind of dilemma happens around us everyday.
In the office, community, in politics and especially in a democratic society,
the minority is often sacrificed for the interest of the majority,
no matter how foolish or ignorant the majority are, and how farsighted and knowledgeable the minority are. The child who chose not to play with the rest on the operational track was sidelined.
And in the case he was sacrificed, no one would shed a tear for him.

The great critic Leo Velski Julian who told the story said he would not try to change the course of the train because he believed that the kids playing on the operational track should have known very well that track was still in use, and that they should have run away if they heard the train's sirens..
If the train was diverted, that lone child would definitely die because he never thought the train could come over to that track! Moreover, that track was not in use probably because it was not safe.
If the train was diverted to the track, we could put the lives of all passengers on board at stake!
And in your attempt to save a few kids by sacrificing one child, you might end up sacrificing hundreds of people to save these few kids.

While we are all aware that life is full of tough decisions that need to be made,
we may not realize that hasty decisions may not always be the right one.

'Remember that what's right isn't always popular... and what's popular isn't always right.'

Everybody makes mistakes; that's why they put erasers on pencils.

(Email fwded by Mr Rasaya)

I initially chose to save the child playing alone because i believe he is playing on the safe side, compared to the other ignorant children.. unless saving only him could kill every creature on earth (Seems that the great critic Mr Julian was on my side) But quoting Mr Rasaya, he believed that he would save all both children on both tracks because children are children and their misdeeds out of sheer ignorance should not be punishable by death. But of course the reality limits our action.

Somehow i realize life is full of choices.
But you can make the difference.

Not a Fine Weather

2010-03-03T07:51:00.001-08:00

I hate the hot weather now!
It causes me sweating frequently, as if you were a ginger bread man in the oven waiting for a chance to break free. Blame my rental house for it has no air cond!
Dear Mom and Dad, can i go back to ur house now?? *mencari kunci kereta.

I wish i could sleep at the office...
But since i heard some creepy stories about level 5,
i don't want to risk my life for it.
Haha.
And especially when my office mate got locked up by Pak Guard when she was staying late 2finish work at night.

But there are times when you have to adopt with the terrible weather and chill up urself with new things.

That's what i'm trying to do now.

(",)

The Second Child Syndrome

2010-02-25T23:34:00.000-08:00

I went through an article about middle child syndrome, it was quite interesting to discover that i might be one of the victims, but i never give a damn about it. LOL. Most of the characteristics mentioned match my personality, though. Visit : http://www.essortment.com/all/whatismiddlec_rsoe.htm.

Here are some of the examples:

1.The middle or second born child or children often have the sense of not belonging. They fight to receive attention from parents and others because they feel many times they are being ignored or dubbed off as being the same as another sibling.

--> I often being ignored by my parents since i was a child, not in the sense of gaining attention but in term of being pampered. I looked after my younger siblings as early as the age of four, and got blame for all their mischief which has never happend to my elder bro. This is soo..unfair.

2. Being a middle child would mean they are loners.They really don’t like to latch on to a person in a relationship, there fore they have trouble keeping one due to lack of interest.

--> For certain extent, yes... i am a lone Ranger. I do and decide my things my own way. I have the heart of stone. I speak up and protect the ones I love.

3. They are however very artistic and creative.The best career move for a middle child would be along the lines of using their creativity.

--> Exactly. I do paintings and drawing. I rebelled myself through poetry. I wrote my own songs and sealed it safe in my own secret place.

4. Going into a writing or journalism career, and into a career that they could freely express themselves would be good.

---> Haha. Journalism suits me once in a blue moon. Yeah, that was my dream career before i indulge myself into the field of education.

5. Since relationships are not of high importance to a middle child, often times they are alone. However, the best possible match for a middle child would be a last born.

--> The last born? Anyone there a last born and interested with me? LOL. This could be true. He will agree with this * wink.

Actually, both my mom and dad are also the middle child. I have talked to them about this issue and it seemed they experienced the same things. Hehe. But of coz this happened to us and parents rarely notice about this since many give attention to the first child or the youngest ones. Never we realize the 2nd born will feel dishearten and neglected among siblings. Though my parents acknowledge this issue, they still forgot about me being the middle child as well. But i accept this as a blessing from God.

But you almost forget that there is always one good thing about being the second child:

YOU are independent
&
You have great influence over the younger siblings..
since your parents trust you more
than the eldest.

;)

My First Love - Wai Thong

2010-02-15T07:51:00.000-08:00

It’s the second day of Chinese New Year. This year is kinda different with the past 5 years since I was able to visit my childhood best friend- Sharon Lam and family yesterday after 7 years not meeting each other. I met her Grandma, fiancé, mommy and of course I love the mandarin oranges, the traditional layer cakes and cookies and not to forget the generous “Ang-pau”s I got after the meaningful celebration.

Actually, since my previous post about first love received a handful of comments and hot response from readers, I feel it is worth to spend a few minutes telling you about my first love in secondary school – Wai Thong. It was in Form 1 that we met, never I knew he had been so faithful to wait for me after school late in the evening or even picked me up in the morning when my dad couldn’t fetch me. Dad was always busy, but he trusted Wai Thong so much – he never had faith with anybody the way he had with Wai Thong.

But of course during our relationship, there were times when we face our own dark ages. I don’t know how it happened but we sometimes did have a little misunderstanding or miscommunication as time passed by, and this usually caused because of me who seemed to lack responsibility of meeting him on time. Wai Thong never brought up the issue but he only expressed his dissatisfaction toward me by leaving me alone at the bus station. It was sad that he never knew to look back. It happened several times and what I did was to sit there on the bench patiently until he reaches for me at the bus station again. Often, he will come back after 1 hour or if I was lucky, he will be back by my side after 20 or 30 minutes.

Or maybe it was my fault that we are not together now. The relationship stopped when I was enrolled to IIUM Matriculation centre in 2002. I never wrote him a letter or neither did he, and he was too poor to have a mobile phone to stay in touch with me. The memories I had with him are so sweet to be told or yet to be kept in the heart. I myself never expected that the day the SPM result was released was our final goodbye. Since then, I never met him again though Chinese New Year always reminds me of him and his kindness.

But I believe he is still carrying passengers.
Thank you – Wai Thong Omnibus.

Things That Make YOu Different

2010-02-09T06:49:00.000-08:00

This gonna be very short.
There are 3 things i learn today:

1) Do good deeds as if you won't expect the reward
2) Think of God everytime you feel you are at loss
3) Smile though you cry inside

A very special person has made me realized of how beautiful life could be if we toss out the paintings on the canvas with a loving heart. And the incident i experienced actually resembles the story in this inspiring website:

http://www.makeadifferencemovie.com/

Me and People :)

2010-02-04T19:48:00.000-08:00

Although my life is quite hectic now, i still feel the excitement of giving lectures and going to classes this week despite the annoying phonecalls and sms i got from my brother. I think he needs serious help with his new relationship with the girl he was introduced to, but until now i didnt bother to ask since i believe a man must have a clear direction about what to do in life. Either later on you swim or drown, you have to fight to win. Last Saturday, i went back to Perak and suprised to see him home too, so i showed him my poyo face whenever i bumped into him in the kitchen, bathroom door or the garden yard. Pheww... *bad sister.

However, there are things that make me feel good this week. Perhaps, law of attraction really works and the universe responses to the positive things of my thoughts.. :)

And thank you to all my students who are being so supportive for the Language Carnival 2010, you guys rock!! (I love your singing, and the song you wrote of course!)Though it's not over yet, I believe we have discovered new talents in our class and no matter you win or lose, the fun through your hardwork is the important element that counts!

Less than 3hours, I'll be helping my collegue to conduct the Essay Writing Contest - the first contest ever. Good luck, my dear students. See you there!

Hinode Tour

2010-01-29T08:37:00.000-08:00

I visited Hinode Shop at Jusco and came across a silver metal frame with a lovely painted poem entitled "My Love". Actually, i like reading poems and collecting quotations and the Italian and Shakespearean sonnets are among my favourites. However, I seem to neglect this hobby for years..and guess what, since nobody is going to buy me that, i then decided to but it for my ownself.LOL.

*so much waiting for a fancy stuff! :p

My Love
Higher than the sky above
Deeper than the sea
Stronger than the winter winds
Blowing through the trees
Richer than the honey's taste
Sweeter than the dew
Greater that the reach of time.
This is my love for you.

A Note to ALL

2010-01-27T08:06:00.001-08:00

I'm overwhelmed with the number of visitors of this blog but i noticed many people keep their status and details anonymous while leaving their comments on the topics posted. I hope you could "sign, seal and delivered" your humble response more often, by exposing your nickname so the discussion sounds more 'lively' and of course to prove you are real human beings. hehe.

To all readers,
my heartful thank you's from the bottom of my heart.
Take care.

..Snow WhiTe...

Can you define First Love?

2010-01-24T07:02:00.000-08:00

Have you heard someone said "If i cant marry you, i'll remain single for the rest of my life."

.....................
......................
........................
..........................

And...that is the exact sentence my first boyfriend told me a few years ago which i found it quite ridiculous and silly of coz! Haha. And till now, i can still hear the stupid vow in my ears though the silent grief is over (Guys don't really mean what they say, dont they?) Actually, I'm here not to talk about the past but i read someone's blog who seems resentful about a guy and that so-called brat left her for Heaven's sake which caused her to feel frustrated to death. So, for those who face the same situation or merely think they want to commit suicide as the last alternative, you may; if you think you are ready enough to be burned in the Hellfire...hehe. But in this special entry, i would like to dedicate this post to these bunch of broken-hearted people who love till lost, or who cry till dry. Everyone, here is my definition of first love:

First love is always sweet and yet painful. The feeling can last but it fades overtime once you met someone else. It teaches us many things; ways of falling in love and reasons to love someone. However, the results vary; it may last or it might slip away unconditionally. So, always treasure the ones that love you in return. He might not be the first-But once you find him, he could be your first love - once again.Coz loving someone new who knows to appreciate you is much better - and the feeling is like falling in love for the first time :)

With that, i rest my case.

With lots of love,
Snow WhiTe xx.

Emil & Karl

2010-01-15T00:33:00.000-08:00

I am always fascinated with books for children. One of the best books i've ever read last year is Emil and Karl by Yankev Glatshteyn, translated by Jeffrey Shandler. A highly recommended book set during the World War II which puts two young boys in dilemmas to escape from the harsh world of human violence. Emil- a Jewish boy and Karl, his school friend who experiences trauma of watching the Nazi dragging his mother away. They planned to leave Vienna together but are crowded onto different trains to be transported to a safer country. You can always visit http://www.amazon.com/Emil-Karl-Yankev-Glatshteyn/dp/1596431199 for more information. This is my favourite excerpt from the novel:

Emil felt cold and then warm at the thought that he was leaving Vienna. He wished he were already in the train. Karl wanted to say something but he felt Matilda's sister in law was looking at him from behind the glasses.

"You musnt cry. Those who feel like crying can remain here. In an hour you'll go by bus to the train station.If you have any friend here we advise you to write to each other, it often happens that good friends often sent to different cities, even different countries."

Once more it seemed to Karl that the woman was looking at him and Emil. The supervisors gave out pencils and pieces of paper and many of the children started writing notes.

"But there's no way they'll separate us." said Emil.
"NO way at all."Karl responded firmly. "I'll hold on to your sleeve and i won't let go. We'll stick together."
"Shall we write each other a letter?"

"I suppose so,"said Karl and he picked a pencil. He started writing,

Dear Emil,
We'll never let anyone separate us. We'll be friends forever.

Your dear friend,
Karl.

He held the letter for a while and turned to give it to Emil but Emil was still bent over his piece of paper. Tears ran down from his eyes - such big tears that the brittle piece of papers was stained in spots.
"I cant write anymore. I cant." he said to Karl, and he gave him the letter, in which he had written only the first few words:

To my only friend Karl,

I -

But the words were spotted with tears, and after the word "I" there were so many stains that the piece of paper was wet. Now Karl didnt feel ready to hand over his letter. He wanted to cover it with tears too but his eyes felt dry and hard. Matilda's sister in-law raised an old blanket that hung over the window and called out, "We're leaving!"

(Glatshteyn, 2007 from Emil and Karl, pp, 153-155)

...And so it seems for the boys. And so it seems with life. This is a touching story that teaches young and adult readers about the importance of love and the impact of discrimination. This is the time when sometimes you have to learn from the children.

Your & Yourself

2010-01-05T23:31:00.000-08:00

For sweetest things turn sourest by their deeds;
Lilies that fester smell far worse than weeds.
-Shakespeare, Sonnet 94

Yes, i definitely agree that attitude resembles your true colour; that physical beauty will remain ugly if you tend not to improve yourself.

I love this sonnet and will always will ;)

Second Day at Work

2010-01-05T07:14:00.000-08:00

I have started my lectures but so far, of all the three classes i entered, there was only one class with students. LOL. I assume the rest is still having problems with registration :b

Back Late at Night

2010-01-01T10:31:00.000-08:00

My housemate and i went out for dinner very late and we arrived home around 1am. Before sleeping,I decided to check my email and visit my blog, and was surprised to see comments by the viewers which proved that people still read my writing and they responded to the issues presented ;) Most of all, I would like to thank my friend Nizam for being my top follower though he knows this blog has been ignored for two years and the writer will only come back when she has a peace in mind.

Actually, i would like to share the photos taken during the Chritsmas celebration in KL last month but the server is too slow, so i only managed to upload two photos... but able to add more at last! :)

THE CASTLE SNOW WHITE
VISITED

TEA TIME

AT BURGER KING

UNDER THE HOT SUN

This is definitely not in KL, but I invested some money for the Lost World Tambun a day after flying back from KL
And KL... we're gonna miss you very soon!

New Year 2010

2010-01-01T05:08:00.000-08:00

It's New Year Eve today. Before the clock strikes twelve, i would like to wish all my readers or fellow bloggers Happy New Year. Its unbelievable that we have reached one decade after the Y2K. Despite the tsunami and the terrifying WTC incident a few years ago, let us be grateful to Allah the Almighty for granting us good health and beloved family we have to live with, and giving us the ability to breath until today. Ten years ago, I was always wondering to myself if i could make it to 2010 since the digit is 'bigger' and i talked to my grandma about it and even counted how old we'll be in the year 2020 coz the Vision 2020 is a mission every Malaysian waiting for. Between the year 2000 to 2009, there are many things happened to me, let it be good or bad. And of course, my grandma passed away in May, 2008 and i could still remember how we bursted into laughter when we talked about how many great-grandchildren she's gonna have in the future especially when the last aunty got married. And of course, i still have my grandpa and grandma from my mother's side whom i cherish everyday.

In 2002, i was enrolled to IIUM Matriculation centre petaling Jaya and it was the place where i first struggled with study and college life and it was also the year when i met my first boyfriend. Sadly, we broke up in 2007. There was no meetings, no walking down to different directions on the day we broke up like the love story we watched in the drama series. I myself was confused why it happened but of course my life now has been fulfilled with someone else who loves me more than anything in this world.

In July, 2007, i started working as a partime lecturer in Dungun, Tganu. A very remote place you'll say, but it is the best memory i ever had. To walk on the beach, to eat at the hotel and to get the first experience teaching a class of boys! As a fresh graduate, I was so young back then, with my innocent-look that cause some boys playing naughty phonecalls to this so-called English lecturer. Who knows i then transfered to Penang in January 2008 and this enables me to visit my family in Perak more often. I know it's my mom's prayer at Mecca that makes me choose this path of life and i hope the spirit to teach won't die overtime.

Well, i hope 2010 brings me more health, wealth and happiness. I wish i could complete my postgraduate study end of this year, settle down, get married and live happily with two beautiful kids. To my late grandma, i hope you rest in peace. I'm sorry you can never see me walk side by side with my beloved man, but i ensure you he'll be taking care of me the way a gentleman will do.

With that, i close the curtain and welcome 2010 with new hope & joy.
Happy New Year everyone!

XX Peace XX

...Snow White..

How Snow White Gets Her Name

2009-12-30T08:05:00.000-08:00

Someone sms me today for disguising myself as 'Snow WhiTe' in blogspot, for no one knows there's a story behind this nickname. Hehe. But why would anyone care for your fullname or surname since bloggers write stories about their mundane lives 2b shared in public and some even express anger and disastifaction to the boss while being so stressed up with jobs or some even had a spiteful talk about certain political parties online. In other words, with the rapid growth of the modern science and technology including the internet, all information and knowledge can be shared just by one click and this depends on the individual to perceive it as good or bad.

I love reading blogs and i respect people's view of certain topics as i believe this is the place where you can integrate your ideas with others, and you can use it as a platform to introduce your hobbies or interests of certain areas. Thus, the background of the writer is less important than the topics being posted or so it seems. ALthough nicknames are not becoming an issue for bloggers, i would say they play major roles since they usually resemble the authors' personality. And why do i call myself Snow WhiTe? Was it because my father, the King married an evil Queen who gets jealous with my skin beauty? Or i knew a brave n kind hunter who saves my life to the vicous power of the queen? And later on, adopted to the seven dwarfs family?

Definitely none of those. I choose this name because it is sweet, it reflects the purity of soul that equals to the external beauty. What is more, I love kids and usually surrounded by them.. so,i call them angels or my little dwarfs but usually an Old dwarf will often appear to guide 'Snow White' to her destination while seeking for the prince charming.

I hope this explanation is enough for my new readers to know a little bit about me. But surely knowing me in person is more interesting than reading about me alone :p

Updates!

2009-12-28T07:45:00.000-08:00

So,i'm moving in to blogspot and enduringly bid goodbye to friendster.LOL. There are lots of things to be updated, but i never seem to have the time to write a new post. So far, life has been treating me pretty well but i just got the news that the online registration for postgraduate mixed-mode has been closed! Damn it! I didnt even know that the due date was last Christmas n i was enjoying myself too much with the BBQ party on that day to even care about registering the subject online. WHat is worse, i called USM and was asked to pay RM200 fine since i hav to register the subject manually. It serves me right 4 being so ignorant.huhu.Next January will be a tough month for me since i have to survive without much cash in hands considering the fact the fee for the new semester is around 3k. Plus, i had spent most of my partime money to pay the bills, car service, books, groceries etc. And i shopped like a mad person last November and that really puts me into deep water. I will never do such things again... (younger sisters, please dont ask me to belanja you girls anymore in any lavish restaurants,ya)

I wish i could write more, but my eyes are feeling half dead. This is the moment when i miss my pillow the most!!!

.

LoneLiNesS KiLLs

2009-03-08T05:57:00.000-07:00

It's been a long gruesome months this blog hasn't been updated, i could see the spiderweb is everywhere.LOL. well, i need no reasons to explain any further why it was never been visited by people and the owner herself. Its coz the author is so damn bz with the so-called postgraduate study program till there's no time 2browse the net and update a new post.huhu.

Well, its true. I hav been bombarded with piles of asgmnts... and overloaded with work at campus. if only this sem could earlier, it would be much different. while i'm updating this entry, i'm still absorbing the knowledge about psycholinguistics though i couldnt understand much. God,
Loneliness really kills... if only there's someone gonna visit me here in penang. Let me ask if there's any generous creature 2do so.

Anyone?

Anyone?

.................long silence.

My First post..

2007-01-22T03:42:00.000-08:00

Hello, this is my 1st post ever. well, my sis syafiqa urged me to create a new blog, though i already have one on friendster but i guess this one should be my regular blog starting for today... :)

okay, i'll be back whenever i'm free.
see ya.